Well, I've been putting this off for long enough now (would you believe me if I said I meant to write this on the 22nd? But then I went on vacation and had no time?... Because seriously, that's what happened.), but I think it's time for me to do an end-of-the-year-and-beginning-of-another blog post. (On a vaguely but not entirely unrelated note, it would be rather sad if one year ended and another one didn't begin? Oh, wait... 2012, right? ;) )
It's been a while since I've been around here (again). I don't know if I'm entirely sorry about that, but I have my reasons for my absence (we won't get in to those, though).
I've been asking my friends a set of questions, and I blame Molly entirely. She asked me three questions, which got me to thinking about other questions, and so now I have this whole long list of things that I feel like sharing, and things I am curious about for everybody else.
1. Do you have any REGRETS from 2010?
2. Any REFLECTIONS on your year? (i.e. How have you changed?)
3. What are your RESOLUTIONS for this year? If you don't have any, what are your GOALS, either short-term or long-term (these can be ongoing goals, so it doesn't have to be new, necessarily). How do you expect you'll be different in the next year?
4. What are you looking forward to most about this upcoming year?
5. What are your top moments/memories from 2010? (Also, why, if you are willing to share.)
So... five (more or less) questions.
This is always a tough question for me, because like it or not, it's over; there is no way to change it, and I think there is value to be found in making mistakes. Making blunders, big or small, is enlightening. But, truthfully, I have regrets from this year-- things I *facepalm* about now, because I know the decision I made was wrong. However, at that moment I suppose I thought it was the best decision I could make, thus... not really.
I'll admit, this question is a tough one to answer. It's hard to look at yourself objectively.
So... this past year. It was the best of my life, but also the hardest. I achieved my dream, but not without difficulties and weakness. I found strength, and surprised myself with how weak I could be sometimes. I allowed myself to cry more, and found ways to smile. I had opportunities and I took them, but didn't stop to think about the consequences. Foolish, I know, but at the same, wonderful.
I guess most of all, this past year made me grow. I feel older now, more self-sufficient and mature than I did last January. Last year, I was honest-to-goodness terrified about so many things, but too afraid to admit the weakness, afraid that it would make that emotion of helplessness real. I found out that it was real, but I confronted it... eventually. This year allowed me to do that. To trust and rely on myself, and to trust the people around me.
1. Write more. ~1000 words a week of non-academic writing (blogging, noveling, etc). For sanity and creativity.
2. Find balance in my life. In friends, family, school, and all other endeavors... because I am terrible at focusing, a professional procrastinator, and AWFUL at time management.
3. Figure out what my next "big goal" is... to replace France. I want to work towards something important; something that will fuel my endeavors. I want to find another dream, something that I can accomplish but not arbitrary.
4. Have an adventure. Sure, it's vague, but I want another adventure. A time to travel on my own (or with friends) and learn about other places and things. I want the discovery and excitement, and honestly, my wanderlust is far too strong NOT to have an adventure.
5. Complete the senior year bucket list. Just because. Even if it's incomplete, I want to try my hardest to do everything on the list.
I hope that at the end of this year, I'll find a different layer of strength in myself. I hope that I can refine my definition of myself and better understand the world around me. I want to feel comfortable being honest with myself and at ease in my skin.
WHAT I'M MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO:
Also, senior trips.
And starting college.
Just more fun experiences and life lessons, I guess.
TOP MOMENTS/MEMORIES OF 2010:
I could just name places here, but I'll go specific.
-Carnavale in Nice
-The French Grand Canyon with Dad
-My first trip to Bordeaux, when Any and I attempted (and failed) to make macarons, and ended up with "macaboules" instead.
-My trip to Toulouse, seeing Carcassonne and being completely enchanted by the beauty and deterioration of a castle.
-The days I spent in Tours, wandering through the streets by myself with only my thoughts and camera for company
-My second trip to Bordeaux, running through the streets with Jeveta at night, attempting to capture the cows. Feeling ridiculous and laughing so hard that I couldn't stop smiling, and then the disappointment of my battery dying, leaving me with only my eyes to capture the memories.
-Receiving mail from unexpected people. Packages (notably FOOD!)and postcards from family and friends, small pieces of delight that I never expected and always cherished.
-Bus rides with Corentin, Nadia, and Camille, trying not to laugh when people fell over and stumbled as the bus lurched forward.
-Playing Hide and Seek in a French marche.
-The lazy days spent at Charlotte's house when we would watch Disney movies and the Coup du Monde, blast music, and have waterfights or wander.
-The surprise parties my Frenchies hosted for me.
-Coming out of the airport and seeing Molly and Matt waiting for me, and having Grant come tackle us all as we stood there hugging.
-Going to Harry Potter Theme Park and then running into Yasmina and Chandler at Universal
-The Wilmington Trip with cross-country, spending a weekend with some of my favorite people, and the crazy antics with the other Senior Girls :)
-NaNoWriMo... the write-ins, meeting new friends (and connecting with existing friends!), writing a novel I loved and feeling the exhilaration of "winning" again.
-The return of the movie night.
-Repeating the tradition of caroling with Kat, Molly, and Tori, and unexpectedly seeing Coach Wow again.
-Spending Christmas Eve skiing while it snowed
-Finally seeing Wicked <3
Errrrrhm, I have far too many moments of this past year. It was magical.
So... tell me about 2010! And 2011!