Showing posts with label countdown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label countdown. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Too Many Goodbyes

Hello, all!

I'm done with high school. I've taken all my exams and finished my classes. I've started cleaning out boxes of stuff. I've been signing yearbooks, writing letters, reading notes written to me, uploading pictures to facebook. Everything is frantic, a last-ditch effort to claim ownership of a vaguely-familiar life. It's all leading to goodbye.

I hate goodbyes, I really do. And these goodbyes... well, I don't want to make most of them. I refuse to accept that this is the end, because endings can be sad more often than not.

I refuse to say goodbye to the movie nights that have characterized a seven-year-long-friendship.

I refuse to say goodbye to the stories I created when I was just beginning to write.

I won't say goodbye to the teachers that have made my high school experience wonderful, and I especially will not say goodbye to the ones that have made this year memorable and amazing.

I won't say goodbye to my unexpected friends, or the unexpected moments of beauty experienced with them.

I refuse to say goodbye to the friends with whom I found a home. Or the stories we wrote in our lives or in our minds, the ones that we never finished and the ones that we did because living is much easier than imagining, at least for now.

I won't say goodbye to these half-created plans, these fractions of thoughts and ideas that seem never to happen. I won't give up hope that they can happen, that these crazy dreams and plans and schemes are even possible-- because I want to believe that they will.

I won't say goodbye to the list of things I meant to do this year but didn't. Goals can change and shift and not accomplishing them is no reason for me to give up trying to make them happen in some form.

But mostly, I absolutely refuse to say goodbye to my life as it is now--- the people or this place or these dreams or these words, even. It is not yet gone and I am still here. And I refuse to say goodbye because I know I will return to HERE in my mind and in my future, to every aspect of this hectic existence.

Thanks for listening, as always-- sorry I've been absent, but as mentioned... frantic, crazy life. Sometimes I just need a break from my own mind, but sometimes I need to speak.

-Aly

Monday, January 3, 2011

2010 Reflection

Hello, all!

Well, I've been putting this off for long enough now (would you believe me if I said I meant to write this on the 22nd? But then I went on vacation and had no time?... Because seriously, that's what happened.), but I think it's time for me to do an end-of-the-year-and-beginning-of-another blog post. (On a vaguely but not entirely unrelated note, it would be rather sad if one year ended and another one didn't begin? Oh, wait... 2012, right? ;) )

Anyway!

It's been a while since I've been around here (again). I don't know if I'm entirely sorry about that, but I have my reasons for my absence (we won't get in to those, though).

I've been asking my friends a set of questions, and I blame Molly entirely. She asked me three questions, which got me to thinking about other questions, and so now I have this whole long list of things that I feel like sharing, and things I am curious about for everybody else.

1. Do you have any REGRETS from 2010?
2. Any REFLECTIONS on your year? (i.e. How have you changed?)
3. What are your RESOLUTIONS for this year? If you don't have any, what are your GOALS, either short-term or long-term (these can be ongoing goals, so it doesn't have to be new, necessarily). How do you expect you'll be different in the next year?
4. What are you looking forward to most about this upcoming year?
5. What are your top moments/memories from 2010? (Also, why, if you are willing to share.)

So... five (more or less) questions.

REGRETS:
This is always a tough question for me, because like it or not, it's over; there is no way to change it, and I think there is value to be found in making mistakes. Making blunders, big or small, is enlightening. But, truthfully, I have regrets from this year-- things I *facepalm* about now, because I know the decision I made was wrong. However, at that moment I suppose I thought it was the best decision I could make, thus... not really.

REFLECTIONS:
I'll admit, this question is a tough one to answer. It's hard to look at yourself objectively.
So... this past year. It was the best of my life, but also the hardest. I achieved my dream, but not without difficulties and weakness. I found strength, and surprised myself with how weak I could be sometimes. I allowed myself to cry more, and found ways to smile. I had opportunities and I took them, but didn't stop to think about the consequences. Foolish, I know, but at the same, wonderful.
I guess most of all, this past year made me grow. I feel older now, more self-sufficient and mature than I did last January. Last year, I was honest-to-goodness terrified about so many things, but too afraid to admit the weakness, afraid that it would make that emotion of helplessness real. I found out that it was real, but I confronted it... eventually. This year allowed me to do that. To trust and rely on myself, and to trust the people around me.

RESOLUTIONS:
1. Write more. ~1000 words a week of non-academic writing (blogging, noveling, etc). For sanity and creativity.
2. Find balance in my life. In friends, family, school, and all other endeavors... because I am terrible at focusing, a professional procrastinator, and AWFUL at time management.
3. Figure out what my next "big goal" is... to replace France. I want to work towards something important; something that will fuel my endeavors. I want to find another dream, something that I can accomplish but not arbitrary.
4. Have an adventure. Sure, it's vague, but I want another adventure. A time to travel on my own (or with friends) and learn about other places and things. I want the discovery and excitement, and honestly, my wanderlust is far too strong NOT to have an adventure.
5. Complete the senior year bucket list. Just because. Even if it's incomplete, I want to try my hardest to do everything on the list.

I hope that at the end of this year, I'll find a different layer of strength in myself. I hope that I can refine my definition of myself and better understand the world around me. I want to feel comfortable being honest with myself and at ease in my skin.

WHAT I'M MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO:
...GRADUATIONNNNNNNNN!
Also, senior trips.
And starting college.
Just more fun experiences and life lessons, I guess.

TOP MOMENTS/MEMORIES OF 2010:
I could just name places here, but I'll go specific.
-Carnavale in Nice
-The French Grand Canyon with Dad
-My first trip to Bordeaux, when Any and I attempted (and failed) to make macarons, and ended up with "macaboules" instead.
-My trip to Toulouse, seeing Carcassonne and being completely enchanted by the beauty and deterioration of a castle.
-The days I spent in Tours, wandering through the streets by myself with only my thoughts and camera for company
-My second trip to Bordeaux, running through the streets with Jeveta at night, attempting to capture the cows. Feeling ridiculous and laughing so hard that I couldn't stop smiling, and then the disappointment of my battery dying, leaving me with only my eyes to capture the memories.
-Receiving mail from unexpected people. Packages (notably FOOD!)and postcards from family and friends, small pieces of delight that I never expected and always cherished.
-Bus rides with Corentin, Nadia, and Camille, trying not to laugh when people fell over and stumbled as the bus lurched forward.
-Playing Hide and Seek in a French marche.
-The lazy days spent at Charlotte's house when we would watch Disney movies and the Coup du Monde, blast music, and have waterfights or wander.
-The surprise parties my Frenchies hosted for me.
-Coming out of the airport and seeing Molly and Matt waiting for me, and having Grant come tackle us all as we stood there hugging.
-Going to Harry Potter Theme Park and then running into Yasmina and Chandler at Universal
-ROFLCOPTOUR!
-The Wilmington Trip with cross-country, spending a weekend with some of my favorite people, and the crazy antics with the other Senior Girls :)
-NaNoWriMo... the write-ins, meeting new friends (and connecting with existing friends!), writing a novel I loved and feeling the exhilaration of "winning" again.
-The return of the movie night.
-Repeating the tradition of caroling with Kat, Molly, and Tori, and unexpectedly seeing Coach Wow again.
-Spending Christmas Eve skiing while it snowed
-Finally seeing Wicked <3

Errrrrhm, I have far too many moments of this past year. It was magical.
So... tell me about 2010! And 2011!

Bonne Annee!
<3,
-Aly

Friday, April 2, 2010

J-0!

COUCOU!

I'm just popping in for a moment before going to bed. J-0 is "Jours: 0" in the countdown until vacation. That is to say, I AM ON VACATION! Again.

I'm going to Bordeaux and Toulouse-- leaving tomorrow at 10:20 from Saint Raphael for my connecting trains (stop in Marseilles) to Bordeaux, and returning late the 17th from Toulouse. I'm super-excited!

I packed in one bag (curious about how I managed that?) with room to spare. I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing, but I'm not bringing my computer-- it's heavy and in this way, I'm cutting myself off from wasting my exploration time on the computer, likely speaking in English. I'm fully immersing myself for two weeks; wish me luck!

Hope you all are having a week, because mine has turned out to be pretty great!
♥,
-Aly

Friday, January 1, 2010

Bonne Année!

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Hey everybody!

I’m just about to have a marathon of blogging, and I know that I’ll forget to say this later, but…

It’s 2010! WHOO!

This is the year that a lot of my friends will be graduating :( [aren’t you guys EXCITED, though?! How many days to go?], and I’m really excited for this year myself.

Dad and I saw a fireworks display in Saint Raphaël (which I’ll tell you more about later… after I write about it, that is), and that was a great way to bring in the New Year. I’m quite excited for the next six months, that I’ll spend in France… I don’t have a resolution yet! Unless you count learning to speak French fluently. Is that a resolution?

ANYWAY! I hope you all are having a great New Year’s Day!

[Molly, sorry I’m missing the Beans and Greens Party. Does it count if Dad and I hear the Black Eyed Peas all day? ;)]

Bonne Année!

-Aly

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Parties and a Puck

Hello!

I'm currently sprawled out on the floor of my room (which I just cleaned from all the art supplies that Molly, Matt, and I managed to get all over in the process of making Noelle's birthday present), surrounded by roughly a third of my closet. I'm packing, but right now I'm in the stage of "Sorting".
[It's really not that exciting, and I'd much rather be bowling with Molly and Claire right now.]

Yesterday was amazing. Despite the foul weather, a fair number of people managed to make it to my birthday party. I'm really sad that some of my really close friends couldn't make it for some reason or another (being offered a job by the CIA? Okay then. See ya next July?), I plan on going out to lunch on Monday if anybody's around and wants to come join in.

I have to find time to write thank-you's to everybody for their wonderful gifts, but I must admit, I don't remember who gave me what. Probably because I was consuming a lot of sugar and was a bit rushed through that entire process. So, if you were there and brought food/soda/presents, then PLEASE remind me so I can thank you properly. (Note: that = fail)

Besides my own party, I went to Noelle's surprise birthday party with Molly and Matt. We went to see Avatar, and although I wasn't paying enough attention to enjoy the beginning fully (didn't help that I was talking), I did enjoy it quite a bit. Let's go to Smurf Space-Africa!

[I'm one of those terrible people that talks and laughs obnoxiously loud in movie theaters. Whoops. I can't help it that I was reminded of a lot of random things, like Disney songs, and I was between two people that had funny things to say. Grrr...]

Après ça, we ended up at Noelle's house (awkward moment: when you say goodbye-for-six-months to somebody and then you see them a few hours later). We ate another funfetti cake (so sugary. so yummy. also quite delicious as partial-breakfast), played Never Have I Ever, and I guess that was about it.

OH! That reminds me. The art supplies in my room went to decorating a duck that Margaret, Alex, and I were trying to use for our physics project. We covered it in puff balls. It is now named Puck, and Noelle loves him. :)

I could say a lot of really awkward things about yesterday because they're quite humorous, but the idea is that yesterday/today was a lot of fun.

Now I'm home; going caroling with Tori, Molly, and Kat later (maybe Claire, too, since I couldn't go bowling). My brother and mom decided to be awesome and got me DVDs-- Blu-ray Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (unexpected move on his part; we don't buy each other presents, much less with our own money :P!), Les Misérables (if you don't get why that's so awesome, read this, although that doesn't help that much. mostly, happy thoughts), and The Aristocats (I'm working on getting all the Disney "classics" on DVD, since I only have them on VHS).

RIGHT. Now that I've updated you will all sorts of insignificant details and anecdotes, here's the OTHER motive for this post.

If I haven't gotten you a card with my address, skype, and email on it, then I'm sorry! I kept forgetting to hand them out. I can give you all that information, you just need to email me at alyinfrance@gmail.com. (well, fine, that's my email right there. SKYPE AND ADDRESS, THEN.)

Since I don't have most people's email/skype/address, if you want to keep in touch with me by any of those means, please EMAIL ME your information (PLEASE remember to include your name!). If you give me your address, I'll definitely try to send you a postcard/letter from France! (I know you want to. Everybody loves snail mail, yeah?)

If I haven't gotten to see you and you want to hang out ONE FINAL TIME before I leave, please let me know and I'll find a way to get you details about the plans for Monday (lunch).

-Aly

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Five Days to Go

...but I hate leaving you.

This week has been insanity, as predicted.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Insignificant Numbers

Hello!

It's nearly 12:00, so that means it's NEARLY my birthday (if we're going to be precise, however, 1 or so in the morning)! YAY FOR BEING 17!
[Honestly, there's not that much interestingness to it, I would guess; R-rated movies? Whoopdedoo?]

HOWEVER, today (by the time you read this, that is), means that it is the Fourteenth... and France is a liiiiiittle... 8 days, since I am, in fact, counting... over a week away!

By now I'm really excited because I'm not afraid of having a bad experience. Through my dad's persistence and the help of a bunch of people, we finally found a host family for me to stay with while I'm there.

My father contacted Rick from Oregon, who wrote a blog about his family's experience living a year in france; Rick forwarded the message to friends in Fréjus, where the message was forwarded to other families, including my host family, the Chasson's. They graciously offered to host me for the entire stay; though I may be sleeping in the grandmother's house each night. I've been in touch with a boy from Washington, DC who stayed with them last summer; he says they're very kind! So, it should be a good solution.

I'll be included on family outings and the like, and I'll go to Lycée Albert Camus as originally planned. I'll have to ride the bus, but that's all just part of the experience so I have no qualms.

At any rate, France is coming up really quickly, and I'm ridiculously excited. I can't wait to go, but part of me isn't fully ready yet. I haven't spent nearly enough time with the friends that I may not see again for a long time; particularly the seniors that have been some of my great friends since they were "my sophomores".

I convinced Mom to let me have a Going Away/Birthday party on Friday, so I'm looking forward to that quite a bit. :)

On the 22nd, Dad and I will be leaving Winston around noon to drive to Charlotte. Our flight is at four (we're flying to Philadelphia); from there, we'll fly to Paris. I think we'll be there until the 29th, at which point we'll be travelling by train down to Fréjus!

In other news:
I've become slightly obsessed with the show Doctor Who, which I've been watching on youtube lately (so that I can understand the Chameleon Circuit songs). This isn't very helpful to me getting anything at all done, but it's not like I mind killing my brain via sorta-television like other people. :3

Besides, FRANCE IS SOON! So my brain may or may not have gone on vacation already. Shhhh.

♥,
-Aly