Fears and Promises

Hello, all!

So this has been bothering me all day, and I'm writing about it so that I can stop thinking about it and actually focus.

I have lots of fears. Small fears, and probably irrational ones, but they're ones that continually make sense in the context of my life. Basically, I fear dramatic change that could end in me losing people that are important to me. I could elaborate much more on that, but I'd rather not.

This is partially because I'll be going to visit UNC-Asheville again on Friday, and since that's where I'll be going to college next year (unless something changes within the next month, which is unlikely but still...). Going up to Asheville again for the first of the many orientation-type sessions is like admitting to myself that high school is ending and my life is going to change very DRAMATICALLY, and much sooner than I'm prepared for.

It's scary. I mean, it's awesome and I'm excited, but I'm also terrified. The same old fears, the ones that show up every time you're thrust into a situation where you'll be meeting lots of strangers and what-if-I-make-a-fool-of-myself, what-if-nobody-likes-me, what-if-I-become-cripplingly-socially-awkward, what-if-I-get-lost... and there are so many more. Irrational fears. Silly fears, as though my brain has been transported back to the beginning of middle school or something equally traumatizing.

I can't get rid of them, though. I can't help but be anxious about these minuscule, potential problems. Because these are the small ones, the ones that I'm okay with voicing, and they don't even touch on the larger issues, being that MY LIFE IS CHANGING AND I AM WORRIED. I guess that's the easiest way to say it for now. I want to remind myself of things that I will remember to do, or at least, things I don't want myself to do. Promises, in a way, to myself, ways I want my life to be now and in the future.

I promise that I will not:

• Forget about my close friends that I have now.
  
• Let people think of me as an object or take advantage of me.
• Lose my morals.
• Follow blindly.
• Have a closed mind.
• Be afraid of new situations or opportunities.
• Put myself into situations that I know are dangerous.
• Abuse my body.
• Shut myself off from the world.
• Be afraid to make change in my life. (Even if it scares me.)
  
• Pretend to be somebody I'm not.
• Forget my dreams & ambitions.

At the same time, I will:

• Be open to new friendships.
• Explore.
• Fill my life with things that make me happy.
• Focus on others, not just myself.
• Be honest with myself.
• Treat the earth with respect.
• Be kind.
• Remember how it feels to do something new and exciting.
• Be confident.
• Admit my faults... and try to change them.
• Ask forgiveness when I need to.
• Make positive decisions.
• Choose the life I want. (And not regret it.)
  

So, yeah. That's what I want to remember a week from now... a few months from now... a year from now. I want to remember how I feel now, and how I felt like in the past. I don't want to lose myself or lose the wonderful people that surround me.

I'm giving myself the freedom to change my life whenever I want to. I'm not afraid of my fears (thanks, FDR... *nerd jokes*), and I'll try to understand myself and my choices. I'll try to embrace change and choose the best path. And if I mess up, I'm going to try my hardest to correct it, rather than dwelling on it.

I can make these promises now and hopefully I'll remember them later, and if I don't, somebody will hopefully be around to remind me. (Thanks in advance! :))

So... what are your fears? What promises do you want to make to yourself?

-Aly

P.S. Thanks for reading, as always! Even more thanks for the comments on my last post-- everybody was so encouraging and understanding. Love to all of you. <3

Return to Middle School

Hello!

So, this morning, a group of seniors from the two local high schools headed over to a middle school in the area to talk to the eighth graders about the "high school experience" and such.

And can I just say... four years is quite a long time. Four years since I sat in one of those rooms hearing very similar stuff to the things I said today. So much has changed since then, and all of it for the better.

I'm not sure about you, but my middle school experience was NOT the most pleasant. My eighth grade year sucked, mostly due to separation from my then-best-friends. High school, though, has been amazing. I mean, not like AMAZING, but it's been pretty dang good so far as I'm concerned. There have been bad parts and mistakes and the like, but seriously... nothing that made the entire experience awful.

Seeing my old middle school teachers reminds me how quickly time passes, and how quickly you can forget people. They all seemed to remember me, which surprised me. How memorable can each class of students be to these teachers? After so many years of teaching, how is it that some students-- or potentially all?-- can stay in their memories?

If they don't remember everybody, then I feel honored. I was significant enough to them to be remembered years after I have left the confines of their classrooms, and even though it's only middle school, that feels kind of important. It does to me now, anyway, thinking about how much different I am now than I was back then. I'm sure it's a curious sensation for the teachers to see the tiny little tweens they knew change suddenly into teenagers, ones that are adults so far as most places are concerned. How bizarre it must be for them to look at us, these vaguely familiar faces of years past and partially forgotten, blurred together into maybe decades of teaching. How strange it must be to look into the faces that hold echoes of children you knew once and realize you no longer know them.

What runs through their minds then?

Who is this person? This child no longer? What do they DO? What's different? Are they the same deep down?

Back then, I thought that everything I did MATTERED. The grades I got all through middle school MEANT something to me, and I measured myself against my academic success. I was terrible at sports (I tried out for the track team once... I ran a personal best at the time, 10 minute mile or something terrible), and... well, I was painfully socially awkward. I thought it was important that I had won the school spelling bee (it was a joke, but still, I thought it mattered), and that I was in the first violin section in the orchestra.

Who am I now, in comparison to that?

I mean, now I know that nothing I did back then really mattered *that* much, because once you leave middle school, nobody cares about how stellar of a student you were in middle school. I don't measure myself by grades now. I do, to an extent, but I know better-- that's not all there is to me. I'm decent at sports, and I love cross-country (I used to hate running, if you couldn't tell-- and my PR is quite a bit faster than 10!). I have awesome friends, and I seem to be finding more friends everywhere these days. And orchestra... well, I gave up on that one a long time ago, but I am not musically inclined. It doesn't bother me, though.

It's forcing me to think, though. Does that middle school me exist somewhere, still?
(I mean, other than preserved in the pages of myspace.)

Am I still the horribly awkward girl that sat at the front of classrooms, always ready to raise my hand when comfortable, or the girl that shrunk to the back of the class to be forgotten when confused? Am I still the girl that was a burden to her friends, exiled from lunch tables overandoverandover again for silly reasons that I didn't even understand then? Still a girl worth insulting? The one picked last for teams, last for projects, shoved into the corner when better options abound?

Because honestly... I don't think so. I hope not, anyway. Parts of that girl still exist-- I mean, I'm still quite awkward, but at this point, it's no longer the "awkward stage" of not knowing who I was, who I wanted to be, and what everybody expected of me.

And I am very glad not to be that girl anymore.

At the same time, I'm quite fascinated by who I was then. That's why I haven't deleted the myspace that I probably should delete-- it holds her, the Aly of what feels like so long ago. The one that saw the world in black and white; the innocent girl that believed that everybody was kind and that even the people that treated her poorly were still good; the one that believed in absurd crushes and impossibilities. The one that believed in so much without question. That is the me I want to remember from back then.

Years from now, what will I want to remember from NOW? Will I laugh at myself for thinking I understood myself? Do I even understand myself now?

That's it I guess. Middle school was awful, High school's been pretty great... but it's ending and I'm ridiculously excited to move on.

Happy February 1st!
-Aly

EGGHEADS!

HELLO!

Final day of my Blog Posting Month! I have a story to tell.

I generally don't think of myself as the type of person that actively seeks revenge. I confront problems, sure, but I am a very forgiving person. Unfortunately, I'm also a very determined person, and when I feel that an apology is necessary, I expect an apology. A week after the insult ("unintentional", but only in the sense that you can say something and make an opinion based on something that is offensive...), after the words of our teammate and the coach... an apology hadn't been given, and the plan was in motion.

The eggs sat, wrapped in bubble-wrap, inside a small cooler; this sat on the floor of my car since last Thursday, when the plan was supposed to happen but didn't. We left it there, waiting for the words that would signal our abandonment of the plan; they never came. The decision was made by practice today, and we continued to be patient, waiting until the end of practice to see if they would say anything. They didn't, of course, and we figured out how to ambush the select few (the order changed, since one of the guilty ones was not there).

While they were distracted by the requested babbling, we unpacked the eggs, clasping them in our hands, hidden behind our backs as we approached our respective targets. With a look, we brought justice down on their heads simultaneously, with the odor of stinky egg and the satisfying SPLAT of cracking eggs.

A demain!
-Aly

P.S. Their reactions were great; only one understood our purpose, the others were quite upset. We'll see what they do. I don't care that much, because that sweet, sweet revenge was rather stinky. :)

Cookies & Cream

Bonjour!

Sometimes, all I need is a day where I'm not stressed out over something-or-other (probably insignificant), where I am too busy to stop and think, too happy to worry about what this week or this season or this year holds for me. Today was one of those days, and I am exhausted now, but in a great mood (despite the fact that I realize that I have homework to finish that I forgot about in the rush of everything else). It doesn't bother me that I didn't accomplish much today, because it my eyes, not accomplishing much other than selfish pleasure and FUN is acceptable. It IS the weekend, after all.

I woke up relatively early today, though I refused to get out of bed, choosing instead to lie there with the blinds open a bit to enjoy the light and the cool temperature of my room, where it is perpetually too much of an extreme. After grocery shopping, I ate lunch with my family-- not that we're really that great at "family time" anyway, since we tend to disperse to seperate rooms, often with lights off, each glued to our respective computers, pretending for that moment that interaction with our family is not needed. I didn't mind today, but sat at the bare table alone, reading Paper Towns and thinking about wanderlust again.

Shortly after, I left once again to head to Molly's, where we made a great card for Tori's birthday (which was yesterday) and wrapped (me: complicated weaving covering the Christmas wrapping paper, Molly: scraps of wrapping paper that didn't cover the box of Animal Crackers) part ONE of her gifts, and then delivered them. A quick jaunt to Colin's, then a stop at Juice Shop (out of the way, but delicious) to get Grant a smoothie, then to Grant's. Of course we got distracted by filling random things in to Grant's calendar, before deciding to stop by our freshman (of the year, we generally choose a few freshmen to be "ours", which means we adopt them and do our best to include them) Caroline's house-- her family's reactions were hysterical, and we'll definitely be going back, especially since she wasn't there! Then back to Colin's, before dinner at Molly's (hot dogs!), and out to a new ice-cream parlor (Cookies and Cream). Delicious and Fattie Club, best way to end any day.

And now I'm doing homework, knowing that I'll have to be up early again tomorrow for school. First FULL week of school, but I feel more mentally prepared now. Today makes this weekend a success in my book.

See you again tomorrow!
-Aly

Kick Ass Frenchies

JP, Lisa, Nolwenn, me, and Cindy before Kick Ass :D
(Picture credit: Jean Paul, except I think Charlotte took this one.)

Hello again!

I know, you probably feel like you're hearing from me a lot lately. This is due to the fact that I've decided I really need to use my time better, and I've just kind of needed to write on here lately. I think this will be my goal for the next 2 months, so you should be hearing a lot more from me! (I've actually got plans for some things for this blog; check for updates and interesting things! :D)
I have FIVE more postcards. I sent 4, then 10 last week, and today another 11. I lie, it's technically two, since I owe three of you a postcard! Though I may cave in and buy more, if I get more people that want them. So, uhh, seriously, ASK IF YOU WANT A POSTCARD! I would love to send one! Also, I love postcards. Even with pears on them-- thank you, Katherine! (She is awesome! Go check out her blog full of pretty things, happy thoughts, and Grand Schemes :D)

I've been hanging out with my friends lately! They have completely pulled through for me on things we've mentioned doing, such as going to Nice and having sleepovers and such.

I spent Saturday hanging out in Centre-ville with Nolwenn, Lisa, Charlotte H., and Jean-Paul. We went to lunch (I ate another American, you guys. I admit, I really just wanted to say I've eaten more Americans. Such a cannibal...!), took pictures, wandered around, and finally joined Cindy at the Cinemas to see Kick-Ass. I thought it was awesome, but I enjoy such nerds-conquering-the-world-I-mean-being-Nerdfighters type movies. I kept dying of laughter, even though I didn't even understand what exactly they were saying ALL the time. After all that, we had ice cream and hung out more. We managed to convince people walking by we were insane, as well as stalk a marching band in Period Dress (I still don't exactly understand why there were so many people in Old-Fashioned Clothes were wandering around... and all the BOOM!s that weren't fireworks?), and various other fun things. Oh, Frenchies, how much joy you bring me...
[I took pictures! They're on facebook.]

JP, Charlotte H., Lisa, Nolwenn, Cindy

I'm going to Nice with Charlotte B. on Wednesday! We're going to tour the Old part of the town, eating the Best Ice Cream in Nice, and I'm spending the night at her house! (Why, yes, I do have school Thursday. *feels B)

OH! And tomorrow, I've got TWO CLASSES (technically 3, but 2 hours of French except one hour is with the Premier ES1, and 2 hours of "hande." [Handball, they always leave off the -ball.])! After which, me and the Frenchies are going to McDonald's (I think that will be the 10th time), then the Theatre to see Mozart's Flute Enchantee. It will be AWESOME! There's ACROBATS!!!!! (I hope I'm allowed to bring my camera because I definitely am.)

I'll tell you about tomorrow and Wednesday as soon as possible-- hopefully with pictures! But at the moment, I have to run errands and do Important Things, so I'm going to peace out and not include any details about why today is fail, but in a way that I don't really care about because I'm in a great mood. :D

-Aly

Trips to McDonalds/Quick: 9 [this is including during the last vacation, so this is the as-of-today count]

J-0!

COUCOU!

I'm just popping in for a moment before going to bed. J-0 is "Jours: 0" in the countdown until vacation. That is to say, I AM ON VACATION! Again.

I'm going to Bordeaux and Toulouse-- leaving tomorrow at 10:20 from Saint Raphael for my connecting trains (stop in Marseilles) to Bordeaux, and returning late the 17th from Toulouse. I'm super-excited!

I packed in one bag (curious about how I managed that?) with room to spare. I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing, but I'm not bringing my computer-- it's heavy and in this way, I'm cutting myself off from wasting my exploration time on the computer, likely speaking in English. I'm fully immersing myself for two weeks; wish me luck!

Hope you all are having a week, because mine has turned out to be pretty great!
♥,
-Aly

Bonne Année!

Hey everybody!

I’m just about to have a marathon of blogging, and I know that I’ll forget to say this later, but…

It’s 2010! WHOO!

This is the year that a lot of my friends will be graduating :( [aren’t you guys EXCITED, though?! How many days to go?], and I’m really excited for this year myself.

Dad and I saw a fireworks display in Saint Raphaël (which I’ll tell you more about later… after I write about it, that is), and that was a great way to bring in the New Year. I’m quite excited for the next six months, that I’ll spend in France… I don’t have a resolution yet! Unless you count learning to speak French fluently. Is that a resolution?

ANYWAY! I hope you all are having a great New Year’s Day!

[Molly, sorry I’m missing the Beans and Greens Party. Does it count if Dad and I hear the Black Eyed Peas all day? ;)]

Bonne Année!

-Aly

Goodbyes

Hello!

My plane will be leaving at 4:00(ish?) today to go to Philadelphia, and then on to Paris. We're flying out of Charlotte, so we're actually leaving a bit earlier than planned due to the fact that HOLIDAY TRAFFIC EATS TIME as if it were dessert.

At any rate, I'm really excited to leave, but honestly, the worst part of leaving is saying goodbye.

It's hard to say "goodbye" to somebody that you have every intention of staying in touch with. At the same time, there's that tiny pessimistic side that keeps reminding you that "things can never be the same". My goodbyes to friends go something like this:

Friend: Well, I guess this is it.
Me: Yeah. Kinda.
Friend: Why can't you just stay?
Me: I can't! I've been planning this for too long.
Friend: *sigh* I know. I'm just gonna miss you.
Me: Yeah, me too. *hugs*
Friend: Bye!
Me: See you in six months! Internet stalking! *waves and leaves*
(In my head-- Friend: Well, that was fail.)

Yeah.

It's not only the goodbyes to friends that are the problem, but when I leave for any trip that is longer than a few weeks (example: Europe trip in '07), I tend to say goodbye to everything (in my head at least).

I guess it's understandable, though. (Hopefully. If it's not then I'm just crazy and I like to think that I'm sane enough.)

As I walk from wherever I am for the last time (or drive. TECHNICALITY!), I'm watching everything go by (or that I pass by), and I'm trying not to wave to whatever it is. I will actually say it out loud a few times, and then look around anxiously to check that nobody is laughing at me. xD

So, as I leave my house today, I will be saying goodbye to everything-- when I get back, we won't be living here anymore, which makes this even more strange. This is the last time I'll be in my room, the last shower I take in my bathroom... so on and so forth. However strange and silly it is, I will miss sleeping in my own familiar bed with my pillows, driving my car (FRED!) around, and going to La Carretta with friends for lunch on far too many weekends. [No worries though! I'll miss my friends/family a lot more!]

I was going to send out a One Final Text from my phone letting everybody know that I love them and I'll miss them, but I figured it'll be easier to just write it in blog form and hope that you get it :)

Here are my final goodbyes:

To my "Last Brekkie" friends-- I'm glad we got to hang out one more time, and I expect extremely enthusiastic emails from you all the time.

To the friends that attended "The Last Lunch" -- I left with a bang! I'm glad you were there to laugh at me :)

To those of you that "Braved the Storm" to come to my birthday party -- I'm glad you didn't die on the way, and I'm glad we got to hang out and act like crazy people for a few hours. Your gifts were amazing, your creativity (ha. picture telephone...) was hysterical, and I'm sorry that my mom took far too many pictures. Don't worry, some of them are up on facebook already!

To all my other close friends, acquaintances, etc. -- If I didn't get to see you before I left, I'm sorry. It doesn't mean I love you any less. I WILL find ways to keep in touch.

I wish everybody a WONDERFUL Holiday season, a fantastic six months, and a great day.


SEE YOU IN SIX MONTHS!
-Aly

Parties and a Puck

Hello!

I'm currently sprawled out on the floor of my room (which I just cleaned from all the art supplies that Molly, Matt, and I managed to get all over in the process of making Noelle's birthday present), surrounded by roughly a third of my closet. I'm packing, but right now I'm in the stage of "Sorting".
[It's really not that exciting, and I'd much rather be bowling with Molly and Claire right now.]

Yesterday was amazing. Despite the foul weather, a fair number of people managed to make it to my birthday party. I'm really sad that some of my really close friends couldn't make it for some reason or another (being offered a job by the CIA? Okay then. See ya next July?), I plan on going out to lunch on Monday if anybody's around and wants to come join in.

I have to find time to write thank-you's to everybody for their wonderful gifts, but I must admit, I don't remember who gave me what. Probably because I was consuming a lot of sugar and was a bit rushed through that entire process. So, if you were there and brought food/soda/presents, then PLEASE remind me so I can thank you properly. (Note: that = fail)

Besides my own party, I went to Noelle's surprise birthday party with Molly and Matt. We went to see Avatar, and although I wasn't paying enough attention to enjoy the beginning fully (didn't help that I was talking), I did enjoy it quite a bit. Let's go to Smurf Space-Africa!

[I'm one of those terrible people that talks and laughs obnoxiously loud in movie theaters. Whoops. I can't help it that I was reminded of a lot of random things, like Disney songs, and I was between two people that had funny things to say. Grrr...]

Après ça, we ended up at Noelle's house (awkward moment: when you say goodbye-for-six-months to somebody and then you see them a few hours later). We ate another funfetti cake (so sugary. so yummy. also quite delicious as partial-breakfast), played Never Have I Ever, and I guess that was about it.

OH! That reminds me. The art supplies in my room went to decorating a duck that Margaret, Alex, and I were trying to use for our physics project. We covered it in puff balls. It is now named Puck, and Noelle loves him. :)

I could say a lot of really awkward things about yesterday because they're quite humorous, but the idea is that yesterday/today was a lot of fun.

Now I'm home; going caroling with Tori, Molly, and Kat later (maybe Claire, too, since I couldn't go bowling). My brother and mom decided to be awesome and got me DVDs-- Blu-ray Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (unexpected move on his part; we don't buy each other presents, much less with our own money :P!), Les Misérables (if you don't get why that's so awesome, read this, although that doesn't help that much. mostly, happy thoughts), and The Aristocats (I'm working on getting all the Disney "classics" on DVD, since I only have them on VHS).

RIGHT. Now that I've updated you will all sorts of insignificant details and anecdotes, here's the OTHER motive for this post.

If I haven't gotten you a card with my address, skype, and email on it, then I'm sorry! I kept forgetting to hand them out. I can give you all that information, you just need to email me at alyinfrance@gmail.com. (well, fine, that's my email right there. SKYPE AND ADDRESS, THEN.)

Since I don't have most people's email/skype/address, if you want to keep in touch with me by any of those means, please EMAIL ME your information (PLEASE remember to include your name!). If you give me your address, I'll definitely try to send you a postcard/letter from France! (I know you want to. Everybody loves snail mail, yeah?)

If I haven't gotten to see you and you want to hang out ONE FINAL TIME before I leave, please let me know and I'll find a way to get you details about the plans for Monday (lunch).

-Aly

Insignificant Numbers

Hello!

It's nearly 12:00, so that means it's NEARLY my birthday (if we're going to be precise, however, 1 or so in the morning)! YAY FOR BEING 17!
[Honestly, there's not that much interestingness to it, I would guess; R-rated movies? Whoopdedoo?]

HOWEVER, today (by the time you read this, that is), means that it is the Fourteenth... and France is a liiiiiittle... 8 days, since I am, in fact, counting... over a week away!

By now I'm really excited because I'm not afraid of having a bad experience. Through my dad's persistence and the help of a bunch of people, we finally found a host family for me to stay with while I'm there.

My father contacted Rick from Oregon, who wrote a blog about his family's experience living a year in france; Rick forwarded the message to friends in Fréjus, where the message was forwarded to other families, including my host family, the Chasson's. They graciously offered to host me for the entire stay; though I may be sleeping in the grandmother's house each night. I've been in touch with a boy from Washington, DC who stayed with them last summer; he says they're very kind! So, it should be a good solution.

I'll be included on family outings and the like, and I'll go to Lycée Albert Camus as originally planned. I'll have to ride the bus, but that's all just part of the experience so I have no qualms.

At any rate, France is coming up really quickly, and I'm ridiculously excited. I can't wait to go, but part of me isn't fully ready yet. I haven't spent nearly enough time with the friends that I may not see again for a long time; particularly the seniors that have been some of my great friends since they were "my sophomores".

I convinced Mom to let me have a Going Away/Birthday party on Friday, so I'm looking forward to that quite a bit. :)

On the 22nd, Dad and I will be leaving Winston around noon to drive to Charlotte. Our flight is at four (we're flying to Philadelphia); from there, we'll fly to Paris. I think we'll be there until the 29th, at which point we'll be travelling by train down to Fréjus!

In other news:
I've become slightly obsessed with the show Doctor Who, which I've been watching on youtube lately (so that I can understand the Chameleon Circuit songs). This isn't very helpful to me getting anything at all done, but it's not like I mind killing my brain via sorta-television like other people. :3

Besides, FRANCE IS SOON! So my brain may or may not have gone on vacation already. Shhhh.

♥,
-Aly

Tumblr

I don’t have much to say here; today, at least.

I created a new blog on Tumblr. It’s a bit more personal, and not *strictly* France-related. You’re welcome to go read it!

If you’re still in a reading mood, go read the MAlly Blog, especially my post about Re-definition that is loosely based on the word rebonjour.

I made a POLL! Click and vote! (I don’t think it’s that difficult of a question.)

Major news is that I might be going to France for a year, though that isn’t very likely right now.

I’m still working on online school, trying to get caught up. It’s not going so well. Encourage me! Or guilt-trip me into working.

[email me at AlyinFrance@gmail.com]

Anyway, I’d love to hear from you and hope you are having a fantastic summer!

-Aly

Six Months is Too Far Away

Hello!

I wasn't planning on starting this blog for awhile... meaning, not until I left for France. But I figured it couldn't hurt. I might as well write about how I'm preparing for my trip to France and where things currently stand as far as plans go.

I'm going to copy and paste the post from "MAlly Chat" that I wrote a couple weekends ago when I spoke to Angela (Angie), the girl I've been in contact with in France.

* Saturday, May 23, 2009

Hihi!

Yesterday was awesome and I would write about it but I am BURSTING WITH JOY so I really can't focus on yesterday at the moment.

I AM TALKING TO ANGIE ON FIM (facebook instant messaging). RIGHT NOW. AS IN SHE IS IN FRANCE AND I AM IN MY HOUSE AND WE ARE SPEAKING OVER THE INTERNET.
AND IT IS AWESOME.
AND I AM JOYFUL.

But I seem to be unable to "penser en Franais" as Madame would like... ahhh! I AM TOO EXCITED!

Holy shigoodness, this has made my day like x 59,999 better.

*JOY!*

For Clarification:

I am massively in love with France. The culture, the language, the country. I've wanted to go to France since I can remember and THIS YEAR, I may have the chance to. You see, my dad is good friends with Pierre, who is French-Lebanese and has family in France. He knows of my desire to go to France as an exchange student, and is helping my dad and I plan my trip to France and live with Pierre's sister.

This would mean that I could go to France without the restrictions of going through an exchange program, which would be cheaper and safer. We would know the family (sorta) and it would just generally be so much more awesome. Regretfully, Angie (Pierre's niece) and I are TERRIBLE at emailing each other, which is why the FIM conversation makes me so happy. Even though I'm not speaking in French.
-Aly *

That explained some of it, at least enough for whoever is reading this to understand what my goal is.

I'll try to explain more in-depth at a later date.
:)

-Aly