Three Years Ago...

Pictures from my last day with my French friends when my mom and brother visited.

Hello, all!

Three years ago I landed on American soil after seven months of living in France. 

Three years have passed since my friends came to pick me up at the airport and I didn't quite believe it was real. Since we screamed and cried and hugged in an airport lobby because it had been so long and so much had changed.

Seven months changes a lot. 

Three years changes more.

Three years ago, I had already accomplished the dream that I had been working towards for 10 years of my life. I didn't have a new dream; I was happy to be home but my language and my heart was still captured in French. (It still is, but to a lesser extent.)

Three years have passed since I was last in Europe. Slightly more than that since I said goodbye to "my Frenchies" and embarked on a short vacation to Italy with my mother and brother. More than three years since I wandered through Southern France with near-strangers that are kind of family and now-distant friends. Since filming silly videos with my friends and dancing through La Villa Aurélienne. Since hanging out in MacDo and Quick and getting sunburnt on the beach of La mer Méditerranée. 

Picture from a picnic my class threw me before I left France.

I find myself looking through those pictures and blog posts and thinking of all those experiences and I fall in love with those experiences all over again. Or I feel the sting of loneliness as I read about those rough days when I felt like I was falling apart. I re-watch the video I made to celebrate five months in France again and tear up as I remember those friends and I think about all the stories and pictures that I never shared here. (There are so many)

I think about who I was then. How I felt out of touch with the United States and my friends on either side of the ocean at different points; those moments of clarity on long train rides alone and when goofing off with people whose names I probably never pronounced exactly right. 

And then there's now. 

I'm rediscovering myself and my strength and challenging myself all over again. I've found a new dream to pursue at long last and I am pursuing it the best I know how.

Life is strange and time passes too quickly. I'm not sure where I will be seven months from now, much less three years from now. I wonder if I will still maintain the friendships I have had for years, or if I will re-establish the closeness I once had with my seven month friends. 

That being said, it's time to share again. 

A bientot!
Aly

Long Time, No Blog

Hello, all!

Earlier today, my friend Laura commented on a couple of my old blogs, which brought me back here. I found myself reading some of my old posts and remembering why I loved blogging.

From 2009 to 2011, I blogged fairly regularly-- mostly during my time in France, but recorded deep within the pages of this blog is my own personal history. The thoughts, emotions, memories, rants, and dreams of a girl that had a lot to say and wasn't afraid to share. This blog was both my private story and my public outlet, and I realize that this was an important part of my life, for much longer than I acknowledge now.

I stopped blogging rather abruptly, and sometimes I think about why I made that decision. I didn't really explain it on here-- I posted once in January of 2012, but beyond that, I made the fatal blog mistake of disappearing. I'm still around on the internet-- my tumblr is pretty active, but it isn't a personal blog so much as a collection of things I like.

The thing about this blog is that it became a bit of a chore after a while-- it began to feel like something I HAD to do, rather than something I wanted to do. It became a far-too-public forum for me to feel comfortable sharing some of the experiences that I had previously written about without even thinking twice. As I get older, I become more aware that the internet is a very public thing and in most cases, there are things that really ought to be kept private. There are things that are difficult to share, and not knowing who reads my blog made me feel vulnerable.

Furthermore, this blog ceased to be about "Aly en France". It became a personal blog, for my own benefit (and the benefit of anybody that cared to read what I have to share), and the transition struck me as awkward. 

It may be time to start blogging again. My distance from France does not mean that is no longer part of my identity or my lifestyle.

With that in mind, here's to a new year-- and maybe a new blog. As my tumblr states: my heart is in France, and I am here. Life is ongoing, and I may be ready to share it again.

-Aly

And So, September

Hello, all!

It's September at last and as promised to a few people months ago, I will be blogging every day this month. There's a lot going on right now-- hence the fact that I have yet to post despite the abundance of things to write about lately-- but I think this is an important month. This is my first month of college life, and I've also decided that for this month, I'm going to become vegetarian, just to see how it goes. Granted, I'll probably make a few exceptions this weekend since I'm returning home (and cafeteria food is more vegetarian friendly, though not always the most delicious).

At any rate, this is just the short intro post since I'm running out of time to write today and I desperately need sleep.

A demain!
-Aly

Too Many Goodbyes

Hello, all!

I'm done with high school. I've taken all my exams and finished my classes. I've started cleaning out boxes of stuff. I've been signing yearbooks, writing letters, reading notes written to me, uploading pictures to facebook. Everything is frantic, a last-ditch effort to claim ownership of a vaguely-familiar life. It's all leading to goodbye.

I hate goodbyes, I really do. And these goodbyes... well, I don't want to make most of them. I refuse to accept that this is the end, because endings can be sad more often than not.

I refuse to say goodbye to the movie nights that have characterized a seven-year-long-friendship.

I refuse to say goodbye to the stories I created when I was just beginning to write.

I won't say goodbye to the teachers that have made my high school experience wonderful, and I especially will not say goodbye to the ones that have made this year memorable and amazing.

I won't say goodbye to my unexpected friends, or the unexpected moments of beauty experienced with them.

I refuse to say goodbye to the friends with whom I found a home. Or the stories we wrote in our lives or in our minds, the ones that we never finished and the ones that we did because living is much easier than imagining, at least for now.

I won't say goodbye to these half-created plans, these fractions of thoughts and ideas that seem never to happen. I won't give up hope that they can happen, that these crazy dreams and plans and schemes are even possible-- because I want to believe that they will.

I won't say goodbye to the list of things I meant to do this year but didn't. Goals can change and shift and not accomplishing them is no reason for me to give up trying to make them happen in some form.

But mostly, I absolutely refuse to say goodbye to my life as it is now--- the people or this place or these dreams or these words, even. It is not yet gone and I am still here. And I refuse to say goodbye because I know I will return to HERE in my mind and in my future, to every aspect of this hectic existence.

Thanks for listening, as always-- sorry I've been absent, but as mentioned... frantic, crazy life. Sometimes I just need a break from my own mind, but sometimes I need to speak.

-Aly

NaBloPoMo Revisited

Hello, all!

It's almost, which really means nothing to me. It's a NEW semester, which is fun, and I have several things that I plan to do this month, so I might as well use my 1000 words a week resolution to do more blogging! (Since I'm obviously not working on my novel much... However, I'm still doing well with the resolution, which is the point.)

So, I'm just warning you... come February, I'm participating in NaBloPoMo again. Expect daily posts, some of which might be pre-scheduled (yes, I'm tricky like that).

The theme for this month is "Character", and while I would usually not care about the theme (or rather last time, I blogged daily for a month that wasn't just *one* month), I rather like this theme and I already know a few things I can do with it on days when I all have to talk about is school stuff.

If there's any ideas YOU have for what to do with that theme or things that you'd like me to talk about, let me know! And if you want, you could join in the blogging here.

Well, I'll talk to you again on February 1st!
-Aly

Novel Number Two

Hello, everybody!

It's DECEMBER again, which means that I haven't blogged in a few months!

Ha, not really (though it's true). December means that National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is over. Another novel, DONE. [Last year's blogpost about NaNo]

Well "done", as in it has 50,000 words. But this one... it's not FINISHED. I want it to be, and I won't neglect it this time. So, I've written two novels. Even though neither of them are finished, and I dislike the first one quite a bit, I feel accomplished. This year, I wrote a story that's been bouncing around in my head for a while, rather than a story I forced myself to write. It's a different feeling, and the journey to 50k was much more pleasant this time around. Despite everything else going on this month (COLLEGE APPLICATIONS, yikes!), I managed to complete the challenge once again, and I'm proud of that.

I'm not as surprised at finishing this year, having already done it. Not to say that the feeling is less than it was, but I suppose nothing is quite the same each time you do it. Like running a race for the first time... the emotions at the end are much more overwhelming than every subsequent time. It's not a bad transition, but it's an interesting contrast. I wrote a novel this month, sure, but it's only halfway complete. The story I want to tell is still lurking around the edges, building slowly. Too slowly sometimes. Hitting 50k wasn't surprising, it was expected. It was something I realized I could do, and something I needed to do for myself.

So... this year in comparison to last year.
1. This year, I was a LOT more active on the forums! I connected with people on the Elsewhere forums and those of my Home Region.
2. I attended (most) write-ins. I even helped set up a few, and dragged people into them with me, rather than people dragging ME into them! :D
3. I joined a Skype group of Nerdfighters (from the Nerdfighting & NaNoWriMo group on the Ning). These strangers, that live all over the world, word-warred with me all the time, and were a great support group. I feel like some of them are becoming really good friends of mine. A small group of us are going to collaborate on the Project for Awesome. I also met another nerdfighter in real life, and got to know a few of my own friends better.
4. The novel I wrote was fantasy, rather than realistic fiction. Last year, I tried out a completely new genre and kind of story, but this year, I stuck with the kind of story that I love to write.
5. I knew what my weaknesses were and tried to work on them. I'm TERRIBLE at dialogue, so this year, I tried to focus on making the dialogue stronger than last year.
6. My characters are largely unnamed. Last year, I found names easily, but this year... the characters exist independently of names, until I have the time to dedicate to finding the perfect names.
7. I did not have to write 5,000 words on the last day! I knew how to pace myself better, and even though I fell behind (I didn't write for five days), I was able to recover from that much quicker. I knew how to get my word count up and how to keep it moving.
8. My characters were better-developed this year. They have flaws, voices, and complicated histories. They aren't just right yet, but they're a lot closer than the characters from last year. They're more intriguing, and more independent than my characters from last year.
9. I loved my story. It was fun to write, and I honestly ENJOYED it. It wasn't an emotional test for me, because I was inventing something, rather than drawing entirely from my own emotions. The story was one that... moved, rather than staying stationary. (That probably doesn't make sense unless you're a writer.)
10. (Because this has to be an even number!) There are scenes in my novel this year that I LOVE. Words that I am proud of. The story I've written (so far) is one that I want to continue. I want to edit it and make it better, but more than anything, I truly want to finish it this time.

I've been collecting writing links and advice for the past month (unintentionally!), so I may write up a blog post sharing those soon. I may also share an excerpt from my novel, because I'm excited about it!

Once again, for the people that have helped me along this ride-- on the internet or in real life (text message or anything), THANK YOU SO MUCH! I honestly couldn't have done it without you.

<3,
-Aly

Dreamland

Hello again!

I’ve put this off for a few days now, but it’s about time that I sit down and actually write this blog, so here it goes.

I’ve been here for five months now, and in that time, quite a bit has changed. The most obvious is, of course, language-wise, but I’ve also gained many amazing friends and experiences.

Some things haven’t quite been what I expected them to be, but some, such as the relationships I’ve built, have been so much more important to me than I expected. I’ve spent these last two months (ever since the last vacation) in my own personal version of heaven, so busy with my French friends that I didn’t have time to miss home. And now, I’ve moved in with my friend Charlotte—I finally get to experience a “host family” with somebody my age, which is quite fun.

I could get all sappy here, but the video I posted on the 21st shows it pretty well—all that video was taken in a span of four days, and it’s kind of a present for the Frenchies, with whom I’ve passed so many good days lately.

OH! In other news, I only have 2 days of school left. And then I’m off to Bordeaux again, and the final few weeks in June, I’ll spend with Charlotte (B.) and my other friends. I’m so not ready for this to end, it’s just TOO GOOD.

♥,
-Aly

Trips to McDonalds/Quick: 12
(*hides in shame*)

French Sickie

Hello, everybody!

I've been here in Fréjus for ONE MONTH! I've been in France for a bit longer, but still. I've made it through one month, and I'm beginning to think that the time here will be passing too quickly. This scares me-- I feel like there's so much more to learn, to see, and to experience. I've got to learn, though my vocabulary, pronounciation, and general knowledge is improving as I spend more time surrounded by French culture and words. This isn't a long-overdue update, but I'm working on those! (After I finish the Week One post, I probably won't be worrying about going back and filling in all the mundane details of my life.)

At any rate, right now I'm sick (I have a cold), so I haven't done anything interesting this weekend. I didn't have the time/energy/willpower to run at all this past week at the beautiful Ville Aurelienne. One of my friends has said that he might run with me some Saturday though, so that's awesome because I don't have a running buddy here. This next Saturday marks the beginning of Winter Holidays here, which last for a couple weeks (I think). I don't have any plans, but hopefully I can find something other than reading and/or watching movies to entertain myself.

(I've been reading Harry Potter books; my friend Charlotte H. gave me the second, fifth, and sixth Harry Potter books in French, for which I will love her forever because HARRYPOTTEREEP! I read the first chapter of the second book yesterday.... and then watched the first two movies.)

Being sick in a foreign country is particularly unpleasant, as all the things you do when you're sick may not work so well or be quite the same, since you're elsewhere. The medicine isn't the same, and I've been sucking on Ricola/Coldeeze that Dad left me (again) because I've been hacking all over the place. I may head over to the Pharmacie down the street (if Nathalie and Olivier don't think I'll collapse or suddenly catch pneumonia along the way...) and hunt for some meds that Mom looked up that are the French equivalents of familiar things (like Motrin, except not really).

(I've been taking this stuff called Doliprane, which is similar to Tylenol-- you dissolve it in water and drink it; not yummy. It's supposed to get rid of my fever, not that I know my exact temperature because 1) Celsius???? and 2) I refuse to use their thermometer... but I generally know when I have a fever.)

My friends here are quite awesome; they use MSN, rather than AIM, so I spend a lot of time on there now, even though I haven't used that email address in years. My expressions don't translate well into French, but they seem to understand some of them ("happydance, anyone? no? Okay, errr... danse de bonheur? oui? YAY!!!!!").

I love to go downtown-- I always walk the same way, because I don't know which way is faster and the path I take is the one that Laure showed me when I went to see Avatar in French with her and her friend Anais. I ran at Base Nature a couple weeks ago, and decided that it'll work in when I'm in desperate need of running, but it's like the beginning of the Wendy's course (flat, field; when it's not marsh-like, it's probably dusty). But Fréjus is qute a nice place, if a bit sleepy. I'm looking forward to summer, because there seems to be NOTHING to do here in the winter!

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing well; I'm speaking in French to my friends at school more, and actually participating in some classes (such as some of my 9-hours-of-French-classes, where I'll read out loud a bit of a poem or story excerpt). I'll be attempting to make Toll House Cookies at some point (I have to save some for my English teacher, actually, haha), and things are more-or-less settling down at Chez Chasson now (11 year old boy = never true calm), and MY FRENCH IS IMPROVING (or so I've been told by quite a few people, though I believe that Corentin may say otherwise based on the amount of correcting he does... xD).

Hope all you North Carolinians are enjoying your SNOW (!!!), and that everybody is well & happy :)
-Aly

Bonne Année!

Hey everybody!

I’m just about to have a marathon of blogging, and I know that I’ll forget to say this later, but…

It’s 2010! WHOO!

This is the year that a lot of my friends will be graduating :( [aren’t you guys EXCITED, though?! How many days to go?], and I’m really excited for this year myself.

Dad and I saw a fireworks display in Saint Raphaël (which I’ll tell you more about later… after I write about it, that is), and that was a great way to bring in the New Year. I’m quite excited for the next six months, that I’ll spend in France… I don’t have a resolution yet! Unless you count learning to speak French fluently. Is that a resolution?

ANYWAY! I hope you all are having a great New Year’s Day!

[Molly, sorry I’m missing the Beans and Greens Party. Does it count if Dad and I hear the Black Eyed Peas all day? ;)]

Bonne Année!

-Aly

The Magical Sound of Victory

Tired, but happy. Winner's certificate :D

HI!

I couldn't resist, I admit it.

I'm far too excited to NOT blog about this.

For those of you that don't know it, November is National Novel Writing Month.

For me and eight to fifteen (I lost count) of my friends, that meant we spent a month slaving over a novel, which is defined by NaNo as having 50,000 words.

It sounds like a lot of words, and it definitely is. It's a huge project to undertake, and with everything else going on in November (such as life. That's a rather distracting thing.), it takes a lot of wise procrastination and even more not-so-kind nudging from friends to survive. At least, it did for me.

Over the course of the last two weeks, I have given up on my novel at least six times, fallen behind more than 11,000 words, and I've also had three days of extremely high word counts. It's been rough, but I made it. At 11:36 or something around there, I "crossed the finish line" with 50,207 words (though the website tells me it was only 50,178; still not sure why, exactly).

The moment of victory. Moreorless.

Since that moment, I cannot stop smiling. I'm filled with joy and I can't sit still; it's absolutely ridiculous. It feels like I just ran a marathon that I didn't train for in the slightest, during which I fell down enough that my entire body is covered in bruises and sore, but somewhere near the end, I go this KICK, and it held... for miles and miles. And somehow, despite the entire race and the aggravation about the quality of the run, I MADE IT. I'm not quite "finished" all the way, but I did it. I made it to my goal, and this may be the biggest thing I've accomplished in my entire life, by my standards.

I have a great feeling about tomorrow, or rather... today. Even though I can't focus on anything at all that isn't feeling loopily happy, I DID IT. I can do anything with the feeling I have right now.

Bring it on, December. Ups and downs and whatever's in store. I'm going to finish this novel this month-- fix it up and make it acceptable. It'll be great. And I'm certain that waiting on that finish line will be the same people that kicked, dragged, and shoved me through November.

Thank you SO VERY MUCH if you were one of those people.

I love you, and in case you're wondering-- that sound you hear? That would be the Magical Sound of VICTORY!

-Aly

Long Time; no Blog

Bonsoir!

I don't think it needs to be said, really, but I haven't posted here in forever. Again, I've been neglecting most the Blogger blogs in favor of tumblr, but I'm sort of falling out of my tumblr addiction these days. I want to write, and that's why I blog. Tumblr is used more for photography and Grand Statements about Life, which I really don't have right now.

At any rate, I'm busy right now. Not incredibly busy, but enough so that I spend a lot of time NOT doing things that I would rather be doing.

I don't know if I posted anything about this on THIS blog, but I passed my online classes! As in BOTH of them, which is rather unexpected. I thought I failed AFM for sure, and had barely scraped a passing grade of a D in French. I actually got C's in both, which is really not okay by my normal standards, but it's fine for all that...

This year, I'm taking super-easy courses, which basically means I have busywork and I spend days tyring not to take naps, because Molly makes me stay up late with her while she finishes all her AP homework. I'm taking AFM again, to get a better grade, as well as (block) Honors Environmental/Earth Science (it's a complete joke. I'm the oldest student in the class... gah, I hate the classes of '12 and '13...), Honors English 3, Honors Physics (my brother is in my class, which is a bit traumatizing), Honors Sociology, and Honors French V, which is my only truly challenging class. Unfortunately, Madame is out for a while because she just had surgery, so that is a lot less challenging than it ought to be, as our substitute is ... ehrm, not very good at French.

I thought I had a fun anecdote about Frenchly stuff to share, but I have forgotten it. *gnashes teeth*

I had a crappy week this past week, but the week before was AMAZING, so hopefully this week will be alright?

I'm running VARSITY at the Wolfpack Invitational on Saturday, but I shouldn't know that... I guessed, and Coach Amy will be telling me OFFICIALLY tomorrow!
This means I have to be INSPIRED and get un-running-rutted by SATURDAY so that I can validly force Lameface to show up to cheer me on. My motivations are so screwed up, geez.

Bonne nuit!
-Aly