Three Years Ago...

Pictures from my last day with my French friends when my mom and brother visited.

Hello, all!

Three years ago I landed on American soil after seven months of living in France. 

Three years have passed since my friends came to pick me up at the airport and I didn't quite believe it was real. Since we screamed and cried and hugged in an airport lobby because it had been so long and so much had changed.

Seven months changes a lot. 

Three years changes more.

Three years ago, I had already accomplished the dream that I had been working towards for 10 years of my life. I didn't have a new dream; I was happy to be home but my language and my heart was still captured in French. (It still is, but to a lesser extent.)

Three years have passed since I was last in Europe. Slightly more than that since I said goodbye to "my Frenchies" and embarked on a short vacation to Italy with my mother and brother. More than three years since I wandered through Southern France with near-strangers that are kind of family and now-distant friends. Since filming silly videos with my friends and dancing through La Villa Aurélienne. Since hanging out in MacDo and Quick and getting sunburnt on the beach of La mer Méditerranée. 

Picture from a picnic my class threw me before I left France.

I find myself looking through those pictures and blog posts and thinking of all those experiences and I fall in love with those experiences all over again. Or I feel the sting of loneliness as I read about those rough days when I felt like I was falling apart. I re-watch the video I made to celebrate five months in France again and tear up as I remember those friends and I think about all the stories and pictures that I never shared here. (There are so many)

I think about who I was then. How I felt out of touch with the United States and my friends on either side of the ocean at different points; those moments of clarity on long train rides alone and when goofing off with people whose names I probably never pronounced exactly right. 

And then there's now. 

I'm rediscovering myself and my strength and challenging myself all over again. I've found a new dream to pursue at long last and I am pursuing it the best I know how.

Life is strange and time passes too quickly. I'm not sure where I will be seven months from now, much less three years from now. I wonder if I will still maintain the friendships I have had for years, or if I will re-establish the closeness I once had with my seven month friends. 

That being said, it's time to share again. 

A bientot!
Aly

Forgotten Posts

Hello!

So, I spent three hours in the library today. I love the library so I really don't mind much, but I did use the time productively. I published a few posts from months (or years... hello there, post from 2009) ago that I had forgotten about. Thank goodness that blogger saves them automatically, but still, I had forgotten about them, these small moments of time where something was going on and I just had to blog about it, but when it came down to it, nothing was actually said.

All of these posts ended up where they would have been had I actually published them on time, but you won't know where they are so.... here's a list!

1. Five days before I left for France, I wrote this post. I was going to write something else, probably talk about my week, but as I looked at it today, I realized that I really didn't need to say more. Read it here.
2. On May 1st of 2010, I had a lot to talk about, mostly reflections on April, where I didn't post much. I started to think about what life would be like when I got home, but I never finished writing. I finished the post today, but didn't finish up where I had left off because I have long since forgotten what I had to say. Read it here.
3. In December, there was a lot going on in my life, and I had one particular conversation that stuck out to me. For some reason, I preserved it in a poem in a blog post that was never published. It's vaguely poetic, and talks about forgiveness. Read it here.

Well, that's it that I remember immediately! (Ha. Ha. sorry, unintended pun.)

OH WAIT. I forgot about the MAlly Chat blog! I wrote a few posts on there while I was in France, if you never saw those.
1. Jan. 2010: A letter-in-blog-form I wrote to Molly at the beginning of 2010. Read here.
2. Jan. 2010: A post I wrote about my fail with buses and frolicking. Read here.
3. Jan. 2010: I ranted about how things seemed to be swallowed by the room I stayed in for the first four/five months I was in France. Read here.
4. April 2010: Talking about growing up & change. Read here.
5. May 2010: Part of my birthday present to Molly, a blog post. Read here.
6. May 2010: A ridiculous post about the smelliness of cheese, for no apparent reason. ... Yeah. Read here... xD

While I was at the library I realized that I never mind spending hours at the library. I have always loved the library, probably because the children's section in the library I went to as a child was ridiculously epic (it had a GIANT TREE on the inside. I mean, come on, guys. A tree. Though I don't remember if it was just a painting, a fabric tree, or a real TREE.). I remember having storytime in this little trailer, sitting in a circle and listening to stories.

It may just be because I love books. There was this used bookstore in that same tiny town in Florida that my mom would take my brother and I. It smelled wonderful in there. (I love the smell of used/old books.) I'd sit between the aisles and pick through the paperbacks, finding Goosebumps books or whatever it is that I was reading. I don't really know, but I just remember that store on the corner in the older part of town, where I could get lost in books.

I went back to that store a while ago; it has moved, but it still smells the same.

...

I completely lost where I was going with that.

Anyway, read those old posts and marvel at the productiveness of the library.

(I also added the tag NaBloPoMo, so it should be easier to find all the NaBloPoMo posts from August/September and this month! Yay.)

-Aly

2010 Reflection

Hello, all!

Well, I've been putting this off for long enough now (would you believe me if I said I meant to write this on the 22nd? But then I went on vacation and had no time?... Because seriously, that's what happened.), but I think it's time for me to do an end-of-the-year-and-beginning-of-another blog post. (On a vaguely but not entirely unrelated note, it would be rather sad if one year ended and another one didn't begin? Oh, wait... 2012, right? ;) )

Anyway!

It's been a while since I've been around here (again). I don't know if I'm entirely sorry about that, but I have my reasons for my absence (we won't get in to those, though).

I've been asking my friends a set of questions, and I blame Molly entirely. She asked me three questions, which got me to thinking about other questions, and so now I have this whole long list of things that I feel like sharing, and things I am curious about for everybody else.

1. Do you have any REGRETS from 2010?
2. Any REFLECTIONS on your year? (i.e. How have you changed?)
3. What are your RESOLUTIONS for this year? If you don't have any, what are your GOALS, either short-term or long-term (these can be ongoing goals, so it doesn't have to be new, necessarily). How do you expect you'll be different in the next year?
4. What are you looking forward to most about this upcoming year?
5. What are your top moments/memories from 2010? (Also, why, if you are willing to share.)

So... five (more or less) questions.

REGRETS:
This is always a tough question for me, because like it or not, it's over; there is no way to change it, and I think there is value to be found in making mistakes. Making blunders, big or small, is enlightening. But, truthfully, I have regrets from this year-- things I *facepalm* about now, because I know the decision I made was wrong. However, at that moment I suppose I thought it was the best decision I could make, thus... not really.

REFLECTIONS:
I'll admit, this question is a tough one to answer. It's hard to look at yourself objectively.
So... this past year. It was the best of my life, but also the hardest. I achieved my dream, but not without difficulties and weakness. I found strength, and surprised myself with how weak I could be sometimes. I allowed myself to cry more, and found ways to smile. I had opportunities and I took them, but didn't stop to think about the consequences. Foolish, I know, but at the same, wonderful.
I guess most of all, this past year made me grow. I feel older now, more self-sufficient and mature than I did last January. Last year, I was honest-to-goodness terrified about so many things, but too afraid to admit the weakness, afraid that it would make that emotion of helplessness real. I found out that it was real, but I confronted it... eventually. This year allowed me to do that. To trust and rely on myself, and to trust the people around me.

RESOLUTIONS:
1. Write more. ~1000 words a week of non-academic writing (blogging, noveling, etc). For sanity and creativity.
2. Find balance in my life. In friends, family, school, and all other endeavors... because I am terrible at focusing, a professional procrastinator, and AWFUL at time management.
3. Figure out what my next "big goal" is... to replace France. I want to work towards something important; something that will fuel my endeavors. I want to find another dream, something that I can accomplish but not arbitrary.
4. Have an adventure. Sure, it's vague, but I want another adventure. A time to travel on my own (or with friends) and learn about other places and things. I want the discovery and excitement, and honestly, my wanderlust is far too strong NOT to have an adventure.
5. Complete the senior year bucket list. Just because. Even if it's incomplete, I want to try my hardest to do everything on the list.

I hope that at the end of this year, I'll find a different layer of strength in myself. I hope that I can refine my definition of myself and better understand the world around me. I want to feel comfortable being honest with myself and at ease in my skin.

WHAT I'M MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO:
...GRADUATIONNNNNNNNN!
Also, senior trips.
And starting college.
Just more fun experiences and life lessons, I guess.

TOP MOMENTS/MEMORIES OF 2010:
I could just name places here, but I'll go specific.
-Carnavale in Nice
-The French Grand Canyon with Dad
-My first trip to Bordeaux, when Any and I attempted (and failed) to make macarons, and ended up with "macaboules" instead.
-My trip to Toulouse, seeing Carcassonne and being completely enchanted by the beauty and deterioration of a castle.
-The days I spent in Tours, wandering through the streets by myself with only my thoughts and camera for company
-My second trip to Bordeaux, running through the streets with Jeveta at night, attempting to capture the cows. Feeling ridiculous and laughing so hard that I couldn't stop smiling, and then the disappointment of my battery dying, leaving me with only my eyes to capture the memories.
-Receiving mail from unexpected people. Packages (notably FOOD!)and postcards from family and friends, small pieces of delight that I never expected and always cherished.
-Bus rides with Corentin, Nadia, and Camille, trying not to laugh when people fell over and stumbled as the bus lurched forward.
-Playing Hide and Seek in a French marche.
-The lazy days spent at Charlotte's house when we would watch Disney movies and the Coup du Monde, blast music, and have waterfights or wander.
-The surprise parties my Frenchies hosted for me.
-Coming out of the airport and seeing Molly and Matt waiting for me, and having Grant come tackle us all as we stood there hugging.
-Going to Harry Potter Theme Park and then running into Yasmina and Chandler at Universal
-ROFLCOPTOUR!
-The Wilmington Trip with cross-country, spending a weekend with some of my favorite people, and the crazy antics with the other Senior Girls :)
-NaNoWriMo... the write-ins, meeting new friends (and connecting with existing friends!), writing a novel I loved and feeling the exhilaration of "winning" again.
-The return of the movie night.
-Repeating the tradition of caroling with Kat, Molly, and Tori, and unexpectedly seeing Coach Wow again.
-Spending Christmas Eve skiing while it snowed
-Finally seeing Wicked <3

Errrrrhm, I have far too many moments of this past year. It was magical.
So... tell me about 2010! And 2011!

Bonne Annee!
<3,
-Aly

Still Not Food-Named

Hello!

I hope you survived that beast of a post yesterday. It took me three or so months to write it, so I sure hope you managed to make it through. It wasn't very heavy on writing, though, so hopefully it was faster for you to look through it than for me to write it and add in all those pictures!

I will be back tomorrow with your regularly-scheduled food-titled blogs.

For today, I'll share a list with you. (Lists seem to be my default post.)

THINGS I MISS ABOUT FRANCE
1. My friends. Gah, so much love, so much awesome. Vous me manquez toujours, mes amis français. La bande surtout! <3
2. The food. Especially the pastries. I've also been craving some crepes for a few weeks now, ever since I got my crepe spatula. I haven't yet gotten a chance to use it, but I want crepes. And brioche.
3. The language. This one is obvious. I miss hearing French every day, surrounding me in this bubble of confusingly different accents and those few words that I don't fully understand. I miss walking down the street and only catching snatches of conversation that mix and entwine that I can't fully understand the meaning of.
4. Bordeaux. My favorite city. Hanging out with Jeveta and Any, having adventures and getting lost in the countryside. Eating McDonalds far too often, and laughing uproariously at the opera music in that one McDo. The cows and the Garonne and the blackened buildings from the pollution of the city.
5. The Mediterranean. The clear, azure blue water and the striking shoreline that changes so quickly. The lack of animals, the water the just-right temperature, and that cloudless sky.
6. La glace. Oh man. Frambroise, menthe chocolat... Comme je veux.
7. L'ecole?! I miss my English teacher, mostly. She was awesome. And all my random classes, where I would sit quietly or joke with my friends, soaking up the things I already knew in a different language. That moment of finally understanding something, or learning a new word. Scribbling notes in my fake agenda and singing songs with Jean-Paul under my breath. Lunchtime, sitting in the sun and hearing the sound of the sea echoing up into the sky.
8. The part of my soul that will always be in France. It is my home, and my dream; my biggest accomplishment. France is part of me, and has defined me for so long. It is greater than just a place for me, and I wish that I could go back every couple of weeks just to be there again, to become Aly en France for another period of time; rather than just Aly en France aux Etats-Unis. I will always be "en France", if only in my heart and thoughts.

There :)
Not to say that I don't love home, and love being here with all my friends. But sometimes, I just want to be back there for a moment, with the people I came to love in half a year; the ones that sometimes forgot that I spoke English at all. xD

A demain!
<3
-Aly

HUMMUS!

SALUT!

I was going to write in French but then I realized that I have something besides the daily workings of my life to discuss, so I will postpone le français for another day.

(Side note: did you realize how much of my last post RHYMED?! Completely unintentional. My brain just works like that sometimes.)

Today, Molly and I were discussing bisous, as in the French air-kisses. The premise of the conversation was the question about whether or not it would be possible for bisous to be introduced to American society, similar to how I introduced our affinity for hugs to my circle of French friends.

We both have been to Europe and experienced that style of greeting, and neither of us mind it very much. I would even go so far as to say that we like it, and I kind of miss that as part of my daily interaction with friends. Bisous add a different level to friendship, even though they are used so casually in countries like France. ALMOST casually, but not quite. Like how we give out hugs so easily, but it expresses more than just waving. It adds a physical-but-not-sexual level to the relationship that cannot really be expressed in another way. What if Americans accepted bisous as another level of interaction with friends? Would it work?

This brings us to sociology, which is basically the study of culture, and that means its impact on our lives and developement. Sociology, and our culture, affects every aspect of our lives, even if we don't notice it. Our social development and status are based on sociology. The immediate perceptions and definition of our very SELF is rooted in sociology, and the expectations that our society places upon us as individuals, as members of a greater group.

In European society, bisous are accepted and welcomed. It has become part of the definition of who they are. Molly and I agreed, that we didn't think that bisous could be accepted within American society, because the interaction is not a societal norm. Changing such a thing would be next to impossible, as anybody experiencing that kind of interaction for the first time would be incredibly confused about the reason.

That got me thinking about how different the culture of a particular area forces you to act in a certain way. I do miss the way I had to act in France, but only in the sense that I feel like I'm losing that feeling of it being "normal", when here, it is extraordinarily strange. It makes me think back to freshman year (or was it earlier? later?) when some teacher (I think it was my seminar World History teacher, who is a legend) brought up the idea about how much DIFFERENT your life would be if you were born in a different time, or a different place. What would you be like? What would the social norms be? What would you wish for in your time or place, or what would you consider to be ridiculous?

Just thinking.
-Aly

P.S. I'm such a humanities nerd.

Dreamland

Hello again!

I’ve put this off for a few days now, but it’s about time that I sit down and actually write this blog, so here it goes.

I’ve been here for five months now, and in that time, quite a bit has changed. The most obvious is, of course, language-wise, but I’ve also gained many amazing friends and experiences.

Some things haven’t quite been what I expected them to be, but some, such as the relationships I’ve built, have been so much more important to me than I expected. I’ve spent these last two months (ever since the last vacation) in my own personal version of heaven, so busy with my French friends that I didn’t have time to miss home. And now, I’ve moved in with my friend Charlotte—I finally get to experience a “host family” with somebody my age, which is quite fun.

I could get all sappy here, but the video I posted on the 21st shows it pretty well—all that video was taken in a span of four days, and it’s kind of a present for the Frenchies, with whom I’ve passed so many good days lately.

OH! In other news, I only have 2 days of school left. And then I’m off to Bordeaux again, and the final few weeks in June, I’ll spend with Charlotte (B.) and my other friends. I’m so not ready for this to end, it’s just TOO GOOD.

♥,
-Aly

Trips to McDonalds/Quick: 12
(*hides in shame*)

MAY FIRST

Hello!

Happy May, you guys!

I've heard from many of you that you've already received the post cards I sent-- to those of you that haven't gotten them, they SHOULD be there soon! If you have given me your address, I've either already sent or am about to send you mail.

April was a good month, the midway point and the next step closer to finishing up my time here. Like all the other months, it was good (with some bad).

In April I loved:

1. Travelling-- I finally EXPLORED France. I saw Bordeaux and Toulouse, and Carcassonne, as well as many other small villages with history.
   
2. Meeting new people & getting to know my French friends better-- this last month has been AMAZING in that aspect! Good-bye and good riddance, awkward stage of friendship! You guys at home, I've said it before, and I'll say it again with complete convinction... the Frenchies are fantastic, and I love them to bits.
   
3. Renewing my "France crush"-- Once again, the love for France is back... thanks to the experiences I've had this month, and a renewing of the vision of France I get when I see all the beauty and history here. Except now, I recognize it's faults. And that's perfectly fine.
4. Fluency-- After four months of living here, I've finally heard it from just about everyone: "You speak French really well!", and at last, I believe them. I had a conversation with Charlotte about this the other day, and basically, I can no longer say that I'm NOT fluent. This makes me ridiculously happy. I'M BILINGUAL?!
5. Just to round out this list, April was amazing because... I'm nearly finished. I'm sad and excited about this, with how things have been going, but I think about it... four months. It's been nearly a year since I started this blog, since I truly began planning this trip. Four far-too-fast and all-too-slow months. I'll be home soon-- I'm excited for the new possibilities and about tackling the next adventure. And I'm really, really impatient to see all my friends and family at home, because I miss them so much.

Things that weren't so great in April:

1. Saying goodbye to new places & people.
2. Communication problems.
3. Train Strikes.
4. Freaking. School.
   

I mean, that's really nothing, and I really don't mind those that much because saying goodbye to people and places is rough, but I WILL find a way to go back and see them in the future, the communication problems have been resolved, the train strike was annoying but it did allow me to spend more time with people that I find to be amazing, and school meant more time with friends in Frejus! :D

In other news, I have far too many things to deal with at home. Home being the US, of course. Real life is calling me back, responsibilities and plans for things that are Actually Quite Important.

AP French won't exist next year, so far as I've heard. This means that my French education is basically over, and I'll have to start taking lower levels of French than I'm capable of. It aggravates me to no end, that I've worked (as have the other students that want to take the class, even if there are just 5 of us) for YEARS to be able to take AP French. The AP French teacher was my FIRST French teacher, ever, and I just think it would be really cool to end my years of French class (that is, if I don't take it in college) with the same teacher I began learning French with.

Anyway, MAY. I'll let you know how it goes.
Lots to do! BYE.
-Aly

Kick Ass Frenchies

JP, Lisa, Nolwenn, me, and Cindy before Kick Ass :D
(Picture credit: Jean Paul, except I think Charlotte took this one.)

Hello again!

I know, you probably feel like you're hearing from me a lot lately. This is due to the fact that I've decided I really need to use my time better, and I've just kind of needed to write on here lately. I think this will be my goal for the next 2 months, so you should be hearing a lot more from me! (I've actually got plans for some things for this blog; check for updates and interesting things! :D)
I have FIVE more postcards. I sent 4, then 10 last week, and today another 11. I lie, it's technically two, since I owe three of you a postcard! Though I may cave in and buy more, if I get more people that want them. So, uhh, seriously, ASK IF YOU WANT A POSTCARD! I would love to send one! Also, I love postcards. Even with pears on them-- thank you, Katherine! (She is awesome! Go check out her blog full of pretty things, happy thoughts, and Grand Schemes :D)

I've been hanging out with my friends lately! They have completely pulled through for me on things we've mentioned doing, such as going to Nice and having sleepovers and such.

I spent Saturday hanging out in Centre-ville with Nolwenn, Lisa, Charlotte H., and Jean-Paul. We went to lunch (I ate another American, you guys. I admit, I really just wanted to say I've eaten more Americans. Such a cannibal...!), took pictures, wandered around, and finally joined Cindy at the Cinemas to see Kick-Ass. I thought it was awesome, but I enjoy such nerds-conquering-the-world-I-mean-being-Nerdfighters type movies. I kept dying of laughter, even though I didn't even understand what exactly they were saying ALL the time. After all that, we had ice cream and hung out more. We managed to convince people walking by we were insane, as well as stalk a marching band in Period Dress (I still don't exactly understand why there were so many people in Old-Fashioned Clothes were wandering around... and all the BOOM!s that weren't fireworks?), and various other fun things. Oh, Frenchies, how much joy you bring me...
[I took pictures! They're on facebook.]

JP, Charlotte H., Lisa, Nolwenn, Cindy

I'm going to Nice with Charlotte B. on Wednesday! We're going to tour the Old part of the town, eating the Best Ice Cream in Nice, and I'm spending the night at her house! (Why, yes, I do have school Thursday. *feels B)

OH! And tomorrow, I've got TWO CLASSES (technically 3, but 2 hours of French except one hour is with the Premier ES1, and 2 hours of "hande." [Handball, they always leave off the -ball.])! After which, me and the Frenchies are going to McDonald's (I think that will be the 10th time), then the Theatre to see Mozart's Flute Enchantee. It will be AWESOME! There's ACROBATS!!!!! (I hope I'm allowed to bring my camera because I definitely am.)

I'll tell you about tomorrow and Wednesday as soon as possible-- hopefully with pictures! But at the moment, I have to run errands and do Important Things, so I'm going to peace out and not include any details about why today is fail, but in a way that I don't really care about because I'm in a great mood. :D

-Aly

Trips to McDonalds/Quick: 9 [this is including during the last vacation, so this is the as-of-today count]

Guest Post: Insaf sur Les Etats-Unis

Hello, everybody!

I have a special treat today! Hopefully this will make up for yesterday's shortcomings...

In lieu of starting my one long-overdue vacation post and my newer ones, today I bring you a GUEST POST! My friends Insaf has a blog (c'est en français), and we've agreed to exchange guest posts. I'll write mine for her (in French, of course), and she has written one for me. Without further ado, I bring you Insaf's guest post with my translations into English. Enjoy!
*****
Les études consacrées aux représentations européennes des Etats-Unis sont nombreuses :
The devoted studies of the European representations of the United States are numberous:

elles concernent bien des disciplines et se partagent le plus souvent entre l’analyse d’une fascination...
they affect the discipline and share themselves most often with the analysis of a fascination...

et celle d’une répulsion.
and one of repulsion.

D'un côté, les Etats-Unis est vu comme un pays où tu as toutes tes chances d'atteindre les sommets:
on nomme cela le "rêve américain",cette idée selon laquelle n'importe quelle personne vivant aux États-Unis , par son travail et sa détermination, peut devenir prospère et importante.

On one side, the United States is seen as a country where you have all the chances to reach the heights
we name those the "American dream", this idea according to the one any person living in the United States, by their work and their determination, can become prosperous and important.

Ce pays semble si mystérieux et passionnant vu D'Europe. Un pays où tout semble possible, un pays à part. Le pays le plus riche, le plus grand, le plus important, tout le monde souhaite y mettre les pieds un jour. New-York et ses bâtiments; Central Park..., Los Angeles et ses stars, le Texas et ses cow-boys, Miami et ses plages, Las Vegas et ses casinos, San franscisco et son pont rouge ... font rêver et intrigues.

That country seems so mysterious and fascinating seen from Europe. A country where all seems possible, a country apart. The country that is the richest, the biggest, the most important; everybody wishes to set foot there one day. New York and its buildings, Central Park..., Los Angeles and its celebrities, Texas and its cowboys, Miami and its beaches, Las Vegas and its casinos, San Franscisco and its red bridge... create dreams and intrigue.

Mais les Etats-Unis sont aussi souvent perçu comme étant un pays où les inégalités règnent, où les
gens n'ont pas d'hygiène de vie, toujours en train de faire la fête et de ne pas manger sainement,la
gastronomie n'étant pas leur point fort ... (mc'do par là, mc'do par si ^^).

But the United States are also often seen as though to be a country where inequality reigns, where the people do not have a healthy lifestyle, always trying to have parties and not eat healthfully, the cuisine is not their strong point.... (always McDonald's ^^).

Le chômage est élevé, le système de santé est incompréhensible (même si un homme censé vient
de changer cela) ,

les gens sont virés de leur maison comme des mal-propres, les bavures policières
sont trop souvent présentes, l'obesité est un problème de santé qui touchent beaucoup de gens
telle est la vision péjorative qu'ont une majeure partie de la population Française.

The unemployment is high, the health care system is incomprehensible (even if one man is supposed to change that), the people are evicted from their homes like garbage, the police brutality is too often present, obesity is a health problem which touches many people is a major part of the belittling view of the French.

Les Etats-Unis possède donc nombre de qualités et de défauts et reste donc un pays comme les autres !

The United States possesses, therefore, a number of qualities and defects and stays therefore a country like the others!

*******

Okay, guys, so there you have it! The thoughts of a French girl about us. What do you think? Any responses?

And, what do you think of more guest posts? Tell me! :D

<3,

-Aly

J-0!

COUCOU!

I'm just popping in for a moment before going to bed. J-0 is "Jours: 0" in the countdown until vacation. That is to say, I AM ON VACATION! Again.

I'm going to Bordeaux and Toulouse-- leaving tomorrow at 10:20 from Saint Raphael for my connecting trains (stop in Marseilles) to Bordeaux, and returning late the 17th from Toulouse. I'm super-excited!

I packed in one bag (curious about how I managed that?) with room to spare. I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing, but I'm not bringing my computer-- it's heavy and in this way, I'm cutting myself off from wasting my exploration time on the computer, likely speaking in English. I'm fully immersing myself for two weeks; wish me luck!

Hope you all are having a week, because mine has turned out to be pretty great!
♥,
-Aly

It's the Americans

Hello!

I am perfectly aware that I haven't posted about Carnaval yet. You can't blame me! I want to do it justice, and by doing it justice, I am including so many details that you should be able to FEEL the excitement pouncing on you from France. Though the 717 pictures to choose from certainly don't hurt. So, WHEN I post it, it will be MASSIVELY LONG and probably take you hours to read. But you don't mind, right?!

This is another one of those real-time blog updates! As usual, I'm posting this about the time that I need to rant about my life here.

As a pretext for this, let me explain that the past two weeks have been rough. We didn't have internet here for a chunk of last week, and I'm an internet junkie (and so is Nathalie), so things here were frustrating. Beyond that, I haven't really done anything with any of my friends here for awhile.

Thus begins the rant.

If you don't know, I'm a very huggy person. I'm one of those annoying people that will hug you for longer than you're used to, and I may even attempt to hug you so hard that you can't breathe. My friends at home are used to this, and happen to be the same way. Even better, I'm so close with them that I can literally lean on them whenever I want (or need) to. Although "hug-training" has gone well (largely thanks to the fact that my friend Nolwenn is a similar huggy-person), I still slip into my normal, hug-addict self with the friends I've become closer to. Unfortunately, I sometimes get the always-fun reaction of people being kind of rude about it-- pushing me away, shrugging me off, or just generally spazzing out. It shouldn't upset me, but it does a little. I become embarrassed, I feel silly, and I feel snubbed. It's just not fun.

That brings me to my second point. I never wanted to see 8th grade again, because I had the worst experience with friends in 8th grade (though I came out of it well enough, with some wonderful friends that I love dearly). I've said before that I love the Frenchies, and they DO prove themselves to be awesome, but it's still not quite THERE. It's not quite there to the point that they make plans in front of me and don't include me in them.

I'd like to pretend that it's because they think I don't understand them, but let's be honest... I've been here for 3 months. It's apparently not rude to invite yourself along (whatwhatwhat?) but I AM SO SOCIALLY AWKWARD and I have warning bells in my head telling me that is a bad idea.

Worse, I don't have the guts to say something when I'm not happy. I don't want to offend somebody (maybe it's normal to only hang out with your family? Uhm, all the time?), or maybe they think I'm doing something (ha!), but it wouldn't hurt to ASK, right? I mean, generally, if you want somebody to be there, don't you just ASK THEM ALONG? Because not being invited me along makes me feel like I couldn't matter less. I'm good for laughs (make me say cuss words in French! it's hilarious! *sarcasm*), but I'm starting to feel like I'm just the "school friend" of too many people.

(I'm still trying though! I AM STILL TRYING. I AM NOT GIVING UP. I'm working on making plans for this weekend, and a few of the more-wonderful Frenchies seem to have picked up on my mood-- Nolwenn, my fellow hug-addict, made a subtle point of giving me bajillions of hugs yesterday. I was feeling particularly glum and I REALLY needed some good hugs. Once school was over, I told Camille about the fact that I was tired of spending so much time alone and can we PLEASE PLEASE plan something for as soon as possible-- and now plans are in the works for this weekend. As well as a few other unexpected-by-still-awesome people picking up on my need for social interaction... it'll be okay.)

That wasn't truly a rant. I guess those are both things you should know (besides the fact that sometimes, I miss home so hard that I want to cry; that's not particularly new, either).

You may not know this, but I've never considered myself to be outstandingly patriotic. I'm an optimist, sure (though I guess you couldn't tell sometimes by the tone of these posts...), but I know that we have a LOT of problems to sort out. Big problems, and less important ones, but problems none-the-less, and so many that I hesitate to claim pride in the country I call home, but haven't felt that GREAT about being a citizen of the US. I have loved France so long-- idealized it; the superior education system, the relaxed attitude about a multitude of things, and of course, the language.

Since being here, I'm still as in love with France as ever (and the language). I wasn't right about all these things (in some of my experiences), but yet... France has something going for it. These people (all of them that I have met)... they ALL seem to love their country. I can't really explain it, but their entire attitude (during the Winter Olympics, for football [the soccer kind], the fact that they all know the national anthem by heart...) just tells me that they are so PROUD to be French. It makes me want to be proud of my country.

But, you guys, it's really hard to be proud of your country when you're in a foreign country where you hear a TEACHER insulting your country to your face while your classmates stare at you. It's really hard to smile and laugh it off, when you're thinking that you don't want to be American if it means being all these horrible things, when you feel the eyes on you and these people you want to like you judging you based on the fact that you happen to be from the US, and you're probably one of the few Americans they've met. It really sucks to be American when you realize that yes, some of the things they say are true, and that maybe-just-possibly-they-believe-these-things-are-true-of-YOU.

This isn't to say the French hate us; in fact, they seem to like us well enough (but they loooove Obama in general, as well as American pop culture)... but some of them seem to blame us for everything wrong in the world. And it is really quite awful to be the subject of such a sentiment. I leave History far too often, after learning something I already know, and hearing yet-another insult about my country, feeling worn down and in desperate need of a hug. I laugh it off, and joke about it, but I still feel the sting of the insult.

Is it too much to ask to be proud of my country? Just once, can't we do something that isn't going to bring about world destruction, or isn't supporting something awful? Is it impossible to recognize that we are NOT THE ONLY country to blame for some international problems (such as Climate Change... did you realize that we are the only country in the world that pollutes?! THE ONLY ONE, YOU GUYS. *more sarcasm*), and that there are worthwhile things that come out of the United States? That maybe we aren't all religious-driven, brain-washing bullies with a twisted mind bent on making everybody else just like us?

I want to be proud to be an American. I know we have problems; but we aren't the only ones. I just don't want to be judged on the stereotypes and mistakes of my country. So, yes, Frenchies, I am an American.

Rant over!

In other news, I have to actually participate in school now. We're starting real Physics in Physique, and it is SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED HERE. I didn't think that it could make less sense than it did before, but somehow they manage with the simplest concepts of Physics (force diagram! how is that DIFFERENT here?). I've been having to do French tests; my French teacher was surprised to discover that I can write in French, and I think his new goal is to make me write in French verb tenses I don't know as often as possible. I hope it'll work; I'll let you know. I had an English test today-- it was the easiest test ever, and I kind of loved it. Other than the fact that I don't know what the heck a "preterit" is or "irregular verbs" in English (wait, we HAVE those?!?!). I mean, I know the verbs, I just don't know the funky specifics like that-- I've never learned English like this.

Okay, that's all for now!

Hope you guys are doing well, enjoying life, and such!
-Aly

French Sickie

Hello, everybody!

I've been here in Fréjus for ONE MONTH! I've been in France for a bit longer, but still. I've made it through one month, and I'm beginning to think that the time here will be passing too quickly. This scares me-- I feel like there's so much more to learn, to see, and to experience. I've got to learn, though my vocabulary, pronounciation, and general knowledge is improving as I spend more time surrounded by French culture and words. This isn't a long-overdue update, but I'm working on those! (After I finish the Week One post, I probably won't be worrying about going back and filling in all the mundane details of my life.)

At any rate, right now I'm sick (I have a cold), so I haven't done anything interesting this weekend. I didn't have the time/energy/willpower to run at all this past week at the beautiful Ville Aurelienne. One of my friends has said that he might run with me some Saturday though, so that's awesome because I don't have a running buddy here. This next Saturday marks the beginning of Winter Holidays here, which last for a couple weeks (I think). I don't have any plans, but hopefully I can find something other than reading and/or watching movies to entertain myself.

(I've been reading Harry Potter books; my friend Charlotte H. gave me the second, fifth, and sixth Harry Potter books in French, for which I will love her forever because HARRYPOTTEREEP! I read the first chapter of the second book yesterday.... and then watched the first two movies.)

Being sick in a foreign country is particularly unpleasant, as all the things you do when you're sick may not work so well or be quite the same, since you're elsewhere. The medicine isn't the same, and I've been sucking on Ricola/Coldeeze that Dad left me (again) because I've been hacking all over the place. I may head over to the Pharmacie down the street (if Nathalie and Olivier don't think I'll collapse or suddenly catch pneumonia along the way...) and hunt for some meds that Mom looked up that are the French equivalents of familiar things (like Motrin, except not really).

(I've been taking this stuff called Doliprane, which is similar to Tylenol-- you dissolve it in water and drink it; not yummy. It's supposed to get rid of my fever, not that I know my exact temperature because 1) Celsius???? and 2) I refuse to use their thermometer... but I generally know when I have a fever.)

My friends here are quite awesome; they use MSN, rather than AIM, so I spend a lot of time on there now, even though I haven't used that email address in years. My expressions don't translate well into French, but they seem to understand some of them ("happydance, anyone? no? Okay, errr... danse de bonheur? oui? YAY!!!!!").

I love to go downtown-- I always walk the same way, because I don't know which way is faster and the path I take is the one that Laure showed me when I went to see Avatar in French with her and her friend Anais. I ran at Base Nature a couple weeks ago, and decided that it'll work in when I'm in desperate need of running, but it's like the beginning of the Wendy's course (flat, field; when it's not marsh-like, it's probably dusty). But Fréjus is qute a nice place, if a bit sleepy. I'm looking forward to summer, because there seems to be NOTHING to do here in the winter!

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm doing well; I'm speaking in French to my friends at school more, and actually participating in some classes (such as some of my 9-hours-of-French-classes, where I'll read out loud a bit of a poem or story excerpt). I'll be attempting to make Toll House Cookies at some point (I have to save some for my English teacher, actually, haha), and things are more-or-less settling down at Chez Chasson now (11 year old boy = never true calm), and MY FRENCH IS IMPROVING (or so I've been told by quite a few people, though I believe that Corentin may say otherwise based on the amount of correcting he does... xD).

Hope all you North Carolinians are enjoying your SNOW (!!!), and that everybody is well & happy :)
-Aly

Day Ten: Fire Dancers

Jan. 1, 2010

Hello!

I still owe you, my dedicated readers (=P), the rest of the posts leading up to this week.

I’ll start where I left off from the last post; refresh your memory if you need to.

This evening (except it was still 2009 at that point), Dad and I headed over to the Roqui’s for dinner. We have been corresponding with the Roquis since sometime last January. I was supposed to live with them originally, but that didn’t work out as planned. At any rate, they have been tremendously helpful with getting me here to France, particularly with paperwork for both my enrollment in the lycée and to get me the visa to come here.

Dinner was moules (mussels) frites, and appetizers! Jean-Pierre, my friend Angela’s father, said it’s a tradition, though I don’t know if he meant a FRENCH tradition or a family tradition. The frites are eaten dipped in mustard (which in this case was mayonnaise and mustard? Uhh. It came like that in the jar.), which I tried and enjoyed. (I swear it’s better than it sounds…)

Dessert was buche de noël in ice cream form, which I have to say is a completely acceptable way to eat a Yule Log. I had three slices :D

George and Therese(I probably spelled their names wrong) were there, too (my dad’s friend Pierre’s parents; Angela’s mother, Elise, is Pierre’s sister. Got all that? It’s not really that important other than to explain how we know them.); it was nice to see them again. They remember us (or at least my dad) from when we met them during their stay in North Carolina a few years ago. (Though that may have been quite a while ago, like my sixth grade year.)

Dinner was an interesting affair—I think Angela, Alaina (her younger sister), and I were all being awkward and not talking, but our parents were talking. There was a constant mix of English and French, which is always interesting.

After we finished eating, we started watching the French review-of-the-year show (that’s what I think it was), which seemed to consists of things that a group of people sitting around the table thought were funny, if not particularly important. This shows seem quite popular, though, because I swear the Chassons were watching the same type of show the night before.

Finally, after a few pictures with George and Therese, Dad and I headed down to Saint Raphaël-plage to see the annual fireworks spectacle (show). We went expecting something like Fourth of July fireworks… loud, colorful explosions, and not much else.

It was a bit wet and chilly, if my memory serves me correctly, which made waiting a bit uncomfortable, but when the show began and we had a pretty good view, I definitely wasn’t complaining.

I’ll let you see what you can from the pictures, because it was just really awesome and different.

This was the beginning; dude crouched on a rail looking out over the dark water.

Anyway, those aren’t very clear pictures. I’m trying to decide the best way to put more pictures up at least so that you can see pictures I DON’T include on the blog. Not sure how to go about this in a safe way. Let me know what you think (about the idea and any ideas!).

Dad and I decided that was definitely a satisfactory way to bring in the New Year, though technically it ended before the New Year began. Everybody was yelling “BONNE ANNÉE! DEUX MILLE DIX!” (“HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2010!”)… there wasn’t a BIG GRAND FINALE (unlike American fireworks where there must ALWAYS be a Grand Finale). It was cool though. That was much more interesting than watching the ball drop on television. xD

The next morning we slept in until noon, skipped breakfast, and began our quest for Pizza, which ended up taking quite a bit of time as nothing was open. Hence, after we didn’t actually have pizza (we had very large salads. yum.), we immediately had to go to the Bruzzone’s for tea at 2:00 (14h).

I haven’t mentioned the Bruzzones on here before, except in brief passing as the OTHER Nathalie (Rick-with-the-blog’s friends in Fréjus). Nathalie B. works for “Vous Accueil”, which is an organization that welcomes newcomers to the town and provides information. [If I understood that correctly.] She is the one that received Rick’s email and did a lot to help find me another solution of someplace to live before I came here. She doesn’t actually know Nathalie Chasson, but it is partially thanks to Nathalie Bruzzone that we found me a place to stay here.

They invited us for tea so that we could actually meet them: Nathalie, her husband Laurent, and their daughters Fanny (14) and Laure (17; she’s 13 days older than me), and Aurlien, Laure’s boyfriend and Jerome, Laurent’s friend, joined us. Tea actually meant tea for my dad, but I just had fruit juice. With tea, we ate Galette des Rois, which is what you might know as King Cake. It isn’t the same though; king cake to me meant what we eat every year in French class, but this is quite different. (The ones we have in NC are the “Louisiana Style” King Cakes, which are cinnamon rolls with frosting and sugar.)

(click through to source of picture, since I didn’t actually have a picture; there's a recipe, too, except it's in metric measurements.)

At a later date, I'll post a recipe for Galette des Rois in American measurements; I've asked Nathalie (Chasson) for it, and I'll translate & convert it for you :)

Apparently there’s two types of King Cake, one for Northern France, and another in Southern France. The kind pictured above is typical in Northern France, and it’s particularly delicious served warm. As is typical for king cakes, there is a small baby Jesus inside; when you find it, you get to wear a fake King crown (and be “King” for a day! WHOO!).

The nice thing about my dad’s networking while trying to find me a place to stay is that I now have met more French people that are incredibly kind and welcoming, and want me to have a really great experience here.

(Dinner was that elusive Pizza from this really great Pizza place that was decorated with Pirate-y-ness in Saint Raphaël. I consider that a great success in Pizza-Questing.)

-Aly